starkers

Join Date 05/2004

+1153

Piracy...my opportunity to indulge

read on b4 flaming me.

I gave my last ISP the flick due to poor customer sevice/tech support and joined up with this other mob bigpond.net, and though I ain't actually connected as yet, I visited their site, and WOW, its a bigpond alright. So big in fact, ya could float a boat in it

but more about that later. Yep, bigpond.net makes my former Insignificant Small Piddly look quite prehistoric and lacking...downright inadequate.
This bigpond.net mob has areas on music; sports; entertainment; stocks n' trade; etc, etc....and so much more (the other mob didn't, just a mail box).
Bigpond be blowed....its more like a big sea....an ocean, in fact, and that's where me piracy thing comes into it. Never got into that surfing thing...kept falling off the board, so I'm a gonna be doin' it in greater comfort and, hopefully, safety. I'm gettin' me a boat to traverse this bigpond/lake/sea or ocean, whatever: and 'Oh Arrrrhhhh me bucko's' I'm raisin' the Jolly Roger, gettin' a parrot fer me shoulder and a crutch to do some Long John Silverin' around them thar parts. The crutch is one thing...but I'm stoppin' short of losin' the leg

Piracy? I hear ya say, it ain't right...but I'm gonna be a gentleman pirate. No flintlocks or cannons for me, and holdin' vessels to ransom fer their valuables. Nope, no sireee! Besides, can't afford the sails to run up the mast to run 'em down anyhow. Nope, a seaman's got a better chance by askin' fer permission to come aboard...and if the hospitality's free, I'll accept it, and I got a dubloom or two in my treasure chest if not. Yep, even Long John Silver paid fer the ales at his local tavern (saw that on TV in Treasure Island with Robert Newton in the lead role)
I guess my fascination with (that kind of) piracy began with that show, and having lived nearby and visited the haunts of the real pirates of old in the south of England. Besides, I fancy the idea of havin' a parrot on me shoulder....sometimes the wife don't talk to me.

Just gotta train it not to call out "Playboy site, Playboy site" when the missus has her back turned

Truth be known, I'm never off WC and other skinning sites long enough to visit elsewhere much, but still, would be nice to have a discreet parrot, just the same...perhaps one that could also be trained to recognise spyware, malware and bad stuff on the net.

Okay, so what was the point of this seemingly pointless exercise, I hear you ask.? Well, I'm on dialup until Tuesday and had to/needed to pass the time somehow while D/L speeds are so slow/load times seemingly eternal, and in the process, I was partially able to live out a long held fantasy of freely sailing the seven seas with a nice 'bird' beside me.
Roll on Tuesday! And now that I've wasted some of my time.....and yours (possibly pissing a few off), I'll bid ye all adieu and leave ye with me final orders. Swab them there desks ye landlubbers...swab 'em spotless so I don't be seein' any spyware/malware and or popups....and if I slips on a popunder one of ye missed, it'll be the plank fer ye.

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Fuzzy Logic

Join Date 05/2002

+493

sailing the seven seas with a nice 'bird' beside me

Be careful which parrot you choose, some of them talk too much...

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Is it national Pirate Day? AAAAARRRRRRRGH!

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PoSmedley

Join Date 04/2005

+788

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starkers

Join Date 05/2004

+1153

Be careful which parrot you choose, some of them talk too much...

Hey, Fuzzy...Who said I was speaking of the feathered variety of bird? If an old bloke's gonna have a fantasy, he might as well make it a real goooood'un

I was thinkin' more along the lines of a chef qualified bikini donner who can sew. Oh most definitely must know how to sew...to make a blindfold fer the parrot

AND SSSSHHHHH....not a word of this to the missus.....can't have her thinking that I think she knows I'm thinking things like that.

And thanks, Po'...fer helpin' choose me first mate. Tho I'd soon have him walkin' the plank if fer chasin' after my chef.......when he's got a Swedish cook of his own. He just ain't bringin' that other friend o' his aboard, however, Miss Piggy....one too many karate chop 'HAAH's' from her and we're goin' nowhere fast without a mast.

Well I'm a few steps closer....get connected tomorra. Also got me tri-cornered hat....confiscating Kermits cos only the cap'n wears them.

Also, sorta doin' a kind of a Noah....building me vessel out the back yard (out of old orange crates) and praying fer rain t' float her. Then it'll be 'Yo, ho ho and a bottle of pop (gave up the booze) and away we go ye land lubbers. Look out, bigpond, I be a comin' to see 'e.

Now I got just one final bit of business...my honorific! Yeah, yeah, Francis Drake got a Sir in front of his name fer bein' a glorified pirate who was stealin' in QE 1's name, but Cap'n starkers has a nicer ring to it, dontcha think?

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Fuzzy Logic

Join Date 05/2002

+493

How do you know I was referring to something with feathers?

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starkers

Join Date 05/2004

+1153

[Fuzzy Logic]
How do you know I was referring to something with feathers?

Not sure really, but the parrot connection just conjured up this vision of a mouthy bird who can't keep secrets.....hence, the bikini bird's requirement to be able to sew a blindfold. Thinking about it....I had better get it some ear plugs as well

And scorpio, sorry for missing you before! Oh Aaarrrggghhh, it be pirate day ev'ry day 'ere....jolly roger flyin' proudly off me TV antenna....and a loaded cannon on the poop desk fer in case the postie thinks he's leavin' any bills

You're quite welcome to join me...just bring a few extra orange crates, just in case, a bit of string and some duct tape. And oh....some king sized bed sheeets, still ain't got any sails

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starkers

Join Date 05/2004

+1153

As an aside from the funny side, here's a link to a site covering many aspects of the town I was born in: Brixham Devon England. Link

The town has many historic interests....piracy/smuggling being one of them.
Also, Brixham has a replica of Sir Francis Drake's flag ship, The Golden Hind moored in the harbour, a highly visited tourist attraction. I spent many an hour with my friends playing there as children....probably the origins of my pirate fantasies.

Although my great, great, great grandfather on my mother's side was a fisherman, who doubled as a smuggler, and often visited France to procure contraband, much of which was hidden and distributed in the local caves.

Also, Prince William of Orange, who later became King of England, first landed in Britain at Brixham, where a statue in his honour was erected and remains today.

I hope you all find something useful and or interesting from this site. Brixham is steeped in history, as is the whole area, and well worth a look. A Google search on Brixham Cevon England will reveal many more interesting sites should the fancy take you.

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TYCUS

Join Date 09/2004

+43

Is it national Pirate Day? AAAAARRRRRRRGH!

hehe, another AAARRRGGGHHH! from here Mexico!

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starkers

Join Date 05/2004

+1153

hehe, another AAARRRGGGHHH! from here Mexico!

Good to see you, TYCUS, how are things with you, good I hope?
I don't know if you ever had any pirates in your parts, but I heard you had a few bandido's who did a similar job...just rode horses instead of boats

Apologies to all for the typo 'Cevon'...is supposed to be Devon.

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TYCUS

Join Date 09/2004

+43

just rode horses instead of boats

lol

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starkers

Join Date 05/2004

+1153

Thanks, aimzzz, but you left out my chef. But then again, best not to incite a riot over a scantily clad female

As for ssssshhhhh, not a word to the missus.....got busted anyhow! Just snuck up real quiet behind me and read all about it over my shoulder

Apart from getting my ears boxed, I'm a gonna have Put up with the Swedish Chef or go hungry. To be a genuine pirate, she reminded me, it's traditionally bad luck for all to have a woman aboard....far worse luck for me if she's bikini clad

Oh well, the price you pay fer bein' married....there's even a censorship on yer fantasies.

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PoSmedley

Join Date 04/2005

+788

The truth is out about you and the parrots.

and you've been petitioned.

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starkers

Join Date 05/2004

+1153

Po' maybe so, but I can't see how teaching a parrot to swear and recognise nasties on the internet qualifies as animal research....and it certainly poses no risk to humans, unless a particular human displeases me so. In which case, said parrot will also have been taught martial arts and respond to the command: "Sic 'em Stumpy!"

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PoSmedley

Join Date 04/2005

+788

"Sic 'em Stumpy!"

Just proves my point of abuse. Where's his other leg, you fiend?!?!?!

But then again, best not to incite a riot over a scantily clad female

You meant 'scantily clad parrot'. We are on to you.

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starkers

Join Date 05/2004

+1153

"Sic 'em Stumpy!"

Just proves my point of abuse. Where's his other leg, you fiend?!?!?!

Actually, Stumpy has both legs...the name's derived from the fact they're both so darned short. Bit of a problem...and an embarrassment, really! The closer proximity to my shoulder means I don't feel the plops....therefore I'm unknowingly a getting around with parrot poop on my spankin' new cap'n uniform

You meant 'scantily clad parrot'. We are on to you.

Now how on earth did you know that poor Stumpy's got a receding featherline? :LOL

Nice Pic, Jebro, me thinks t'would make a good wall fer me new pirate desktop...aaaarggghhhh!

Well my bigpond.net experience didn't begin today as I'd hoped. Had to go for a CT Scan and a few tests...by the time I got home I was just too whacked and couldn't be bothered, and then the self install disc never arrived in the mail anyhow. Seems that I needed to add a day to the delivery date due to there being a bit of a pond between Tasmania and point of origin on the mainland.
Shiver me timbers if it be waylaid by pirates. I'll have me orange crate vessel (named her the Jubilant Joyce, after Me muvver) scouring the high sees fer them bastard buccaneers an' I'll string 'em up on the nearest yard-arm....which is only 2 foot two now, cut off a bit fer Stumpy's perch

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PoSmedley

Join Date 04/2005

+788

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Appreciate the stereotype, Smed...

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PoSmedley

Join Date 04/2005

+788

Appreciate the stereotype, Smed...

sorry, didn't mean to offend. I Googled Parrot and she came up...and he had mentioned his scantily clad chef..and..and..I'm a pig, I know. Sorry.

Off Topic 2

Wait til you see my IP for Valentines Day...slightly risque with His And Hers Icons..if SD ever explains how to do the subpackage thing.

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PoSmedley

Join Date 04/2005

+788

For Aimzzz and the other ladies..

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PoSmedley

Join Date 04/2005

+788

Translations for readers;
AAARRGH; "I have a wedgie!"
Shiver Me Timbers; "There's a hole in my tighty-whities and I feel a draft."
Batten down the hatches; "Put the cards and booze away, the wife is comin'home."
Parle'; "Can I have just 5 more minutes on the computer, honey...puh-leeeeze."
Waylaid; 'No, starkers!" (See Parle')
Scouring the high seas;"Where'd she hide my rum?"
Yard-arm;Minumum distance of safety if she catches me talking to the chef again.
Avast and Ahoy; They don't mean anything, that's how he stutters when he's in trouble.

Get better ,you swab!!!

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I never saw a picture of a wedgie before! Brings back fond memories of what I used to do to my little brother-- until the day he got bigger than me, which started a time of less fond memories...

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