My name is whiskers I am a fat cat and I am here to tell you how a normal day would go for me.
It all starts out around 7:30 in the morning. The "mother", which she is referred to by the older kids still sound a sleep, awakes. She wakes me up for no odd reason just to say good morning. I think what a moron awaking me from a good sleep to say "good morning" I hate her for that. Well as she goes and gets ready for work I fall back to sleep.
After I hear the "mother" leave I get up and stretch my legs. I go to my favorite place in the world, my food bowl. I see only a little bit of food in the bowl. It is now around 10 in the morning and I venture to go and see what the kids are doing. Ahhhh I see the youngest one is up...good. I start talking to him but he can’t here what I say. He looks at me and says " what a good fat cat...do you want some food?" Of course I was saying "Hey, you...moron get off your lazy butt and get me some food now!"
As he pours food in my bowl I let him pet me. The only reason I let anyone pet me is because I am to fat to reach my back and I have an itch on it. After I eat all of my food I look for my toy mouse named mousey.
I play with him for a while and go a trick the other kid to feed me...ha ha ha...I fooled him. After I eat a second bowl of food I go and sleep the day away. It is now about 7:30pm when I fully awake from my dreams of cupcakes. The Mother and Father are home. They all eat tons of food and nobody feeds me...don’t worry they will pay.
I am sitting in my favorite chair when I am suddenly picked up and moved by the father. I can’t believe that just happened. Well I go into the room after they all they are asleep.... Keep in mind it is about 2:30 in the morning. I view myself as a night cat. I am thinking about my mouse as I venture out to my bowl when I look down there is nothing in it.
Walking back to wake the father up as I usually do in this type of situation I find he is fast asleep. I jump on his dresser and make as much noise a possible, but he doesn’t move. So, I decide to take a more drastic measure. I jump onto the bed and climb up on a self about 2 feet (24 inches for you morons) above the bed. I decide to jump onto his stomach.... Of course I miss...lol. I hit him a little lower than the stomach.... If you know what I mean. He awakes in a scream. (You see when I say I am a fat cat I mean I weigh about 25 pounds). After about 30mins of recovery he finally gets me some food. I eat all the precious food and get my mouse and go lay down for the next day…that will teach them to mess with me.
