When I Was Five I Killed Myself

By Howard Buten -- A book Review

This is one of my favorite fiction books I've read since I got out of college. I enjoyed this book deeply. I read half of it in one day.

I was entralled with the way the author told the story through the child involved. Moreover, I was kept in suspense throughout the book wondering what "really" happened. I didn't want to believe the child deserved to be where he is.

The story is of a child who took what adults told him very seriously who meets another child who also takes adults literally. They become friends. The results cause the child to be put in a mental institution, from whence he tells his story by scrawling it on the walls of the round room. The traditional psychologist about gives up on him, calling his case impossible. A "patch adams" -like doctor is the only one who figures out what really happened, despite the fact he nearly loses his job because of it. The story is spotted, taking you to different memories he has as you, the reader, try to figure out why he's in the institution. It just doesn't seem to make sense -- the kid seems normal! He plays zorro and is a good speller for pete's sake.

The first chapter had me... it relays a story about him watching the news and getting upset over a child's death when he was five. He goes to his room crying. His dad comes to comfort him. When his dad leaves, he makes his fingers into a gun and shoots himself, falling on the bed.

If anyone has read this book, I'd be interested in your commentary on this novel. What do you think it means? What does it say about parent/child relationships? Our society? About us? I'm amazed its so overlooked. The French embraced it as their "catcher in the rye" despite it's American authorship. If you've not read it, pick it up and post! I'm eager for someone to talk to about it!Link

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Dear Shulamite
I have just begun with Howard Buten's book and I am fasinated, I can't stop reading it. I'll tell you more about when I have finished it. By the way did you read Mark Haddon, The curious incident of the dog in the night-time? It's about a very similar subject and it's a very good book, too. Try to get it and read it. It's a bestseller in the UK. Anna

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