WOW!!! The sense of humor is getting rather strong in here! I am loving it! LOL!

Someone's off their meds! 

Do you want that back? Damn...

At some stage, yeah... might help avoid going blind totally.

Didn't know there wos speed limits in space.... and wot about tickets???

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Is it possible that reality is a fantasy and

fantasy is reality?

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I have detected the work of the alien.

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Word has it Joe Satriani is putting down his guitar for a while to 'go surfing with the alien'

And Steve Vai has been accused of fathering an 'alien love child'

Ah, so that's why all the windows are blacked out at his place

Could do to turn down the bass a little

It's shaking some of the roof tiles loose.

The Alien denies any knowledge of anti-grav devices.  He says that while the US Gov't may possess something along those lines, perhaps, he is adamant that neither he or other non-terrestrials are responsible for any such technology getting into the hands of humans... and certainly not into the hands of politicians he believes would not behave responsibly with it.

Apparently he saw people on a similar planet use anti-gravity to steal dozen upon dozens of oil tankers during a world-wide oil crisis.

Therefore, anti-gravity does NOT exist.

Would lactose intolerant people avoid going to the moon if it were made of green cheese... or would they just take an anti-histamine first?

Come to think of it, which I do, are aliens lactose intolerant?

The reason I ask is because our satellites haven't seen any evidence of alien bases on the moon... and surely that'd be the logical place to have a forward attack platform if they plan to invade Earth?

Another thing I sometimes think about, if I were to get abducted, is whether they have qualified proctologists to do the anal probes, or whether it's some sadistic alien who has B&D tendencies???

I've often asked this, and I've never gotten a clear cut answer, other than the hint that some of them may have a curiosity with that portion of the anatomy because theirs is located underneath their armpit.  It was also suggested that some of them were latent homosexuals, but evidence was never forthcoming to support this theory/claim.

Of Course, who do you think introduced rubber gloves and lubricants to proctology?

Again, where do you think condoms come from?

Um, how do I explain this without frightening or disappointing a heap of people?

Let's just say that it doesn't come on a stick and you don't lick it.

That's something you'll never have to worry about... because the alien says lollipops are for woosies.

Me, I'm the 'bite it off the stick and chomp right into it' kind of bloke... licking and sucking is waaay too dainty for me.