Guy driving through an unfamiliar neighbourhood spots a for sale sign outside of a house......Talking Dog for Sale $5.00
Well this was very intriguing indeed, so the guy pulls up and enquires about purchasing this talking dog....the $$$$$$ signs lighting up in his eyes for all the show business opportunities it would present....
"Hi there, my name's Lloyd and I'm interested in buying your dog....can he really talk?
"Hell yeah!", say the owner: "Just ask him a question, and he'll answer it...reads alot and surfs the net, so he's very well educated."
"Okay dog, asks Lloyd: "What's your name?"
"Clyde!", says the dog: 'And before being asked to resign, I used to work for the Government."
"Sounds very interesting," says Lloyd; "and what did you do for the Government?"
"Well I started out in airport security, you know, sniffing out drugs, explosives, weapons and contraband, etc. However, my handler felt my talents were being wasted there, when other, non-talking dogs could do the job, so he got me into espionage and spying for the C.I.A., the Military and F.B.I. Well who'd suspect it,, like an ordinary looking mutt like me, eavesdropping, taking notes and using a wire to relay back to the team? Yeah, t'was a very interesting life, I got to travel all over the world, to some very exotic locations in the Pacific; to some very dangerous locations like Iraq, was there for the first Gulf War, you know. I even went up to the International Space Station for a while to help the Russians with speaking, reading and writing English...as well as do a bit of snooping with the spy satelites looking down on suspect nations and leaders, etc.
"Wow!!!!", says Lloyd, "Now that is some life, why there'd even be humans with less experience and traveling than you....so what made you wanna give up all that?"
"Well," says Clyde: " the President heard of my exploits and talents, so he requested that I be added to his personal staff at the White House....trouble was, the food was a bit rich."
"You left over the food?".
Lloyd was astounded, that he'd leave the White house over food when he could've had anything he wanted, so he enquired further into it.
"Nah, it wasn't the food exactly...it was fantastic...just that it made me fart quite a bit, and one day in the Oval Office....
Well it got that way that the President asked if I'd like to retire....so after many years of great service to my country, yeah, I called it a day and ended up here, where I was born some 28 years ago"
By now Lloyd was absolutely flabbergasted and totally had to have this dog, so approached the owner to hand over the $5,00, though still somewhat curious.......
"Hey man, Clyde is one helluva talking dog, and with all that travel, Government experience and......well hey, I just gotta have him. One thing, though....with all that living and experience under his belt, why so cheap?
"Well," says the owner: "It's all bullshit!"
