joetheblow

Join Date 12/2001

Has anyone had a setback in life?

Just wondering... so that I know I am not alone on this.

My personal setback will take me 3 years to recover... I hope. Maybe by then I will have some of the things I want.

Right now I seem to not be moving backwards but not moving forwards either (of which seems to feel like moving backwards)

So this is the "how to recover from a set back" thread.

I am still trying to figure out how to recover from mine... at least I have a nice girlfriend who maybe able to help me out. And she is NEW!!! Way better than the old one

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I'm still stuck in said setback.

I moved here a few years ago to "better" my life and have since lost pretty much everything I had. I'm like you right now, not really moving forwards or backwards. I'm just doing time. *shrug*

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I'm on the final stages of clearing the last hurdle after about 8 years of setback recovery.

Caused by a bad relationship and a vast amount of debt. Spent all that time getting back to solvent and cleaning up the mess that went with it.

I pretty much started completely over, moved to a new city, got a new job, and found quite a few wonderful new friends. The friendships tend to be the most important, you always need someone to help you over the rough spots (or at least cheer you on), and there will *always* be rough spots.

Best way to get over it all is to have a plan of action, and stick to it. Let your friends (or girlfriend) be there for you and help you when needed. Never let yourself feel like you don't need (or deserve) help, or you'll definitely fail.

It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

Good Luck!

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NightTrainthedark

Join Date 07/2003

+255

Just got back on top after a major set back. I can promise you all that the slump will finally end. No matter what the problem was that set you back, the the biggest hurdle in recovering yourself is TIME! Time is your enemy. You cannot control time but it helps the mind to know for sure that the shiaaat will end.

I'm just doing time. *shrug*
custom concern, thats the worst place to be. Well besides being directly in the craps I mean. Do not let yourself get caught up in doing time. That is depressing , just waiting for something to change for you. It is most likely that nothing will ever change for you. You have to keep your head up and your eyes open. Last year at this time I would be riding my motorcycle or golfing. Recent back problems have taken both away from me. It sucks! Since I started skinning the pain of missing doing what I like has decreased tremendously. Now I am addicted to skinning and all is good.

Do not fear change. Especially if you are not happy in where you are at right now. TIME IS YOUR ENEMY! Do whatever you can to reduce that time. Find someone else that is miserable and help them. It will cure you both!

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elvee

Join Date 03/2001

+113

I am starting a recovery from a seven year setback(and one Pothole). I am starting from scratch all over again and this time i will get it right. I am focusing on getting my train back on track. It is not easy and it takes time. I am working two jobs, also taking a college course and numerous workshops on Management, (Talk about burning the candle at both ends!) I feel energized and see it as a challenge. But in the end it will pay off

Still I miss this place

Hang in there Joe

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I've actually thought about trying to start skinning. I've been around here for so long and never made a thing. I just can't figure out how to get started.

I have some graphics software and Axialis too.

Well I don't want to hijack joetheblows thread here so I'll just read.

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My setback, if I can call it that, started about 3 years ago. ever since I have been trying to move forward and have to some extent.

And man are their hurtles. I thought after getting a job my life would improve drastically. I got a job and boom, it almost caused my death. I end up in the hospital for hight blood pressure. That totally messed up my school work and any other plans I had for the month.

Not only that but since working at the said job for 4 months I have messed up 6 months of school... the school that will help me to get a better job.

Anyway, right now I am just stagnant somewhat and its down right depressing. I am this close to quitting my job and refocusing on school and getting a better job in the mean time.

Heck, I could be working at McDonald's and it would be better than my current job even though it pays less (but they didn't want to hire me... go figure. I guess they only hire teenagers and old retired people)

I am really hoping that over the next year my life improves.

For now, I feel like a loser, even though I am not.

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Things will DEFINITELY improve....and like others have said...it will take time, it also takes effort....even when you feel that you are still going no where or backwards, keep up the effort....it'll payback big dividends in the long run.

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Keep plugging away at it Joe

I know the feeling...I've had my ups and downs...this time around the 'down' side of it sure is lasting a long time! No matter what I do it feels like I'm just spinnin' my wheels and getting nowhere.

Alot of it is where I live...and my age...it's exactly like you said about the McDonalds thing...I'd laugh but it's too close to true to be funny. I made a trade off to move to the country for the environment...I just love it here...but the advance to go and collect your 'piece of the pie' part seems to have been glued to the board on 'chance'

Isn't life strange?
Hang in there!

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yeah, my life was the set back and damn me if I can't wait for another turn on the wheel...

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I'm living through a major setback right now. Actually, a whole bunch of them. My boss, whom I just love, is dying of cancer. I spent a day and a half in the hospital two weeks ago, because of chest pain (not a heart attack, thank god). I'm scheduled for a chemical stress test on wednesday. I'm contemplating filing bankruptcy. My right hip arthritis has advanced to moderate/severe. Spinal stenosis is causing this crappy burning in my left leg. My cholesterol level is 236. I have a recurrence of Dupuytren's Contracture in my left hand, at the base of my thumb. My fractured vertebrae (boating accident almost one year ago), at T-11, is causing me all kinds of grief, and I'm scheduled for another bone scan on monday to see if there is any bone activity along my spine.

But, life goes on. I have a very good job, pays over $70K/year (but the debts are killing me). I have two fabulous kids. A gigundo German Shepherd that I just love. A twin sister who is my touchstone. A wonderful little country cottage where I live. What I'm trying to say is that when I start feeling overwhelmed with the crap, I think of the good stuff, of which I really do have lots. Now, if only I can find a wonderful guy with a winning lottery ticket......

Just kidding..... He doesn't have to be wonderful.

Just kidding again......

Joe, trust me, you ain't alone. My life is so up and down, it's dizzying. I was in NYC last weekend to visit my uncle. He is one of my most favorite people, and when life grinds me down, he is the most uplifting person there is. Joe, I hope your new girlfriend turns out to be the person in your life that you can really lean on, trust implicitly, gain strength from. Hang tough, man. You are not alone.

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Hello All
Well this thread looks like a 'share from the heart' kind of thing. As a woman and a nurse and a ( once again ) single mom I can truly say ' suffering is relative'. Without going into too many gory details I believe I have had it worse than some and definately better than some. As an only kid and an air force brat and now as a 49 year old human I have lost both parents ( my dad when I was 10, my mom when I was 30 ) I have moved over 65 X in my life, been homeless living out of my car or in a campground 9X, raised 4 kids under the age of 7 while putting myself through college ( with honors whew! that was really hard too ) been in more toxic, hurtful relationships than I care to admit. After going thru all of the above I get into a marriage that at the end of 10 years had chapter 7'd me and almost took my mind and life. Just 4 years ago I retreated hastily, hair on fire , from this marriage.I left with the clothes on my back and the contents of a 5X8 storage shed and moved 200 miles to get away. Now the point of all this is not to get any brownie points but to relate that at that last point I could not, in my limited understanding of the path I was on, ever believe things could ever get better. I was at rock bottom. I had had some surgeries and health problems too. Well, my Maker had other plans apparently. I worked three jobs, still had some grown kids at home as well as a 12 year old daughter. Last year, after diligently toiling and cleaning up the credit abyss my ex had plunged me into, bought my first real home. Its only 850 sq feet but its mine!.I actually own a car I don't have to roll down a hill to get started. My bills are paid and I just got a promotion.Trust me when I say there were times I was dangerously close to going AWOL from this life.But there were miracles. Little ones and real big ones. The point is NEVER GIVE UP

Learn that love is the only thing in the life worth your energy and that relationship or at least the memory of it is all you will take. The greatest adversity that a human can have is never knowing adversity. It gives you empathy and compassion towards the hurting.It opens your eyes to what is truly valuable. But boy is it a bear to go through, especially alone as I did most of the time. If you have someone to wrap your arms around then, regardless of any other pain, financial, physical, emotional etc. you are truly among the most blessed!I agree with the previous post. You are not alone and God is not done with you yet. Just wait and see.

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