KidPickles.... there are many new friends to be found here, on these boards. Because you've been through a rough time, and feel as though you dont have any friends right now, you are actually through the worst bit. It may not seem that way right now, but I also know where you're at..... been there a few years back.

Talk to someone... anyone, you will find plenty of folks willing to listen to you.

You may be at the bottom now (figuratively speaking).... but it's only up from here on in.

I would also be willing to lend an ear, having been where you are now. My email is in my profile.

Besides... doing something rash, or spur of the moment, is only giving the other person satisfaction, and will really only hurt the ones who truly do love you.

I just love hotels with W-LAN access... Greetings from Brussels to You all !

Oh wow! I'm actually overwhelmed with so many concerned people on here. You are all so kind. It gives me a lift when I know that there are strangers out there that are willing to listen! Knowing that there are people out there that have or are going through worse times than me kind of makes me feel ashamed that I would even concider ending my life because of something so dumb. But my depression actually goes back 5 years ago when my father passed away, the family dog died from cancer, my grand mother passed away on mothers day and then my girlfriend left me after 8 years. This all took place within 8 months of each other. I have no brothers or sisters to help me get through this. I tried damn hard to get on with my life and found a great woman on the internet 3 years ago and I moved across my country to be with her. We bought a house, picked out a 2 week yr old border collie and raised it like it was our child since we didn't have any and got married. Those were the happiest times of my life, but depression caught up to me and being home sick. We had typial marriage problems (finance) and the stress of everything wore us down. She thought I didn't love her anymore and she actually started a "new" relationship with her old boyfriend while we were married!! Talk about sick! I gave up a life (friends, family) in my home town to be with her and because our marriage wasn't perfect, she gave me up for a different guy. That's what hurts me the most. She cheated on me and I was pushed out of my own house! Talk about pathetic. The worst thing she ever did was when I got out of the hospital after my back gave out on me at work and that night, instead of spending time with me to comfort me and help me feel better, she spent the night at a hotel with her new fling. Everytime I think about that I get ill to my stomach. What did I do to deserve that??
Anyway, I'm going on and on with something silly here. Thanks to everyone trying to help me out and I will take into concideration about emailing a couple of you guys when I feel the need to talk (which is pretty much all the time). Take care.