Well in New Hampshire it's not so bad...we've got six seasons:
Ski season - can't get anywhere unless you have a 4x4 'cause the town roads aren't plowed.
Mud season - can't get anywhere unless you have a 4x4 'cause your vehicle is stuck in a foot of mud in the dooryard (dirt driveway/dirt front yard).
Black Fly season - can't get anywhere, 'cause you can't go outside, 'cause the town won't let you fill in the swamp in your backyard that's breeding them (something about protecting the wetlands and endangered species).
French-Canadian tourist season - can't go to the beach without seeing some overweight French-Canadian guy in a pair of speedos two sizes to small.
Fall Foliage season - can't get anywhere on time 'cause of all the leaf-peepers (them is people who has lost their mind and travel down road at 25mph, gawkin' out the windows at the leaves on the trees, like they ain't ever seen a tree with dead/dying leaves before. I know I have, got a whole dooryard loaded right up with them like you read about, good thing the snow comes and covers them up so I don't have to rake them).
Hunting Season - do not ever go outside without wearing bright orange 'cause your taking a chance that you'll get shot right in longjohn underwear, right in your own dooryard (longjohn underwear and timberlane boots is acceptable outdoor attire on your property, most seasons, provided you accessorize it right, ie. bright orange hat or vest during hunting season, heavy coat during winter).
We also got no income taxes or sales taxes which means:
Roads aren't plowed in the winter (least not well).
There's no curbside trash pickup (no curbs) you've got to take your trash, construction debris, old batteries, etc. to the dump. Except old cars, you let them rot in your dooryard.
Your kid's education is paid for by state-run alcohol sales and gambling (home-schoolin' is a popular option I guess for folks that want to keep the whole drinking and educating thing at home).
Fire department is all volunteer (so you better hope that Bubba ain't out paying for his kid's smart's at the local bar, that he has a 4x4, depending on the season, and that after a 6-pack of education he can traverse unplowed roads, get to the firehouse, get suited up and get to your neighbor's house to put out the brush fire your neighbor started when he was burnin' construction material in his backyard, that he didn't want to take to the dump, that got out of control 'cause of that education thing again. And you hope Bubba remembered to fill up the tanker truck 'cause there's not to many fire hydrants around. And when the town roads do get plowed you can't find them anyways.
We also got the "Old Man on the Mountain", remember...on the back of the New Hampshire 25-cent piece...well that's about the only place your gonna see him now 'cause his face fell off last year. So now we got the "Old Man with no face on the Mountain".
So like I said it ain't so bad here....get drunk & go 4-wheelin', get drunk & go snowmobilin', get drunk & go huntin', or just get drunk, sit around in your dooryard, in your underwear and watch the dead leaves fall off the trees. And finally just to prove our way of paying for education works....we didn't elect some guy who played Conan 'the Barbarian' as governor.
