How does one spell 'groan' .....yes, that's it.

Yeah, they will... if you put them inside a circus cannon and then fire it off.  

Then there was the circus clown who said he wanted to go to heaven and be launched by a circus cannon.

However, on the day, his long-suffering colleague turned the cannon upside down and fired it into a deep hole in the ground.

Then there was the peasant who became a pheasant plucker by trade

When he died prematurely and quite unexpectedly, everyone at his funeral gathered 'round and remembered him as a pleasant little phucker.

Yeah, I know, they're bad as well, but this wouldn't be the first bad jokes thread.  

they're getting worse

Yeah, but I've told worse....

Like when the marine biologist went out in a glass bottomed boat so's he could watch 4 skin divers circumcise a whale.

Or when the cop pulled over a motorist, looked at his license and asked why he wasn't wearing his glasses.

He replied: "It's okay officer, I have contacts."

"I don't give a fuck who you know, don't let me catch you driving without 'em again!"

Boom, boom.

Most of these are fortnight jokes.... too week to laugh.

But how about the marbles champion who used his glass eye to intimidate opponents.

Speaking of missing body parts.... a bloke got his ear bitten off in a bar fight and had it replaced with a sea shell.  He always knew when it was low tide.

Boom, boom.