MrGupps, don't feel embarrassed...it's good to reach out...but we all just wish you could feel safe to reach out to someone who can truly help you... We on the net/forum here are rather helpless except to give you advice as best we can.

Angel_Wings has shared all kinds of embarrassing things here on the board from her own illness to her cats being sick etc.

We are all human.

Just don't give up. I remember what 13 was like...hated it! Never would PAY to go back there! But, one day...you will look back and just be glad you made it through these growing pains.

there is nothing wrong with suicide, its my life, my decision

I appreciate all this advice I will take it all into consideration


gnight.......

MrGupps yes it's your life and your decision but don't be so selfish you don't stop to think about the ppl that love you cuz they are the ones that pick up your tab when you check out, and are left feeling even worser emotions then you are currently feeling and if you love them at all consider them mainly...

Take care and remember school is only temporary!
it does not last forever

They surely will, MrGupps. You are already asking the kind of questions I didn't ask until much, much later. Since you are starting to see so clearly, so young... well, that impresses me! I have faith in you.

Listen to Jafo!

i understand, an example like Bill Gates comes along once in a million (lets hope im that million) I also want to say with pride "I graduated from Yale!" But thats not gonna happen. Karma girl im happy for u, u got lucky.

Unfortunately adults have no idea how hard being a kid has become. The amount of stress i go through is beyond my coping skills

i think it may take a few years for anyone recently having a birthday to peek over their desk to be able to respond to your question. personally, i havent had 1 since 1959.

just having fun jafo...ya gotta have a sense of humor, right?

Um.... Mr. Gupps... I know you are fairly perceptive, so I think you will get the gist of what I am going to say to you.

You say..."The amount of stress i go through is beyond my coping skills
" and I am wondering if you have any idea at all of the number of the world who either cannot see that, or deny it? Just look around at all the people whose lives have been ruined by dependence on alcohol and/or drugs. You, on the other hand, at 13-years-of-age look clearly at your life and see what you see and have the guts to vocalize it! Now, it occurs to me to wonder... yeah, he can see it but does he have the guts to do something constructive with it? You see, if you have this problem you are among good company. It seems to me that you can act proactive and do something about it now and escape the quagmire that many, many poor souls are caught in.... or you can cop out on yourself and cast your fate with those who have failed to do that. The worst are easy to spot... they live on the streets of nearly every American city. Ah, I see you are thinking you have the perfect solution, but I know from working for long periods in Intensive Care Units and hospital Emergency Departments that when you start stepping that direction you are statistically bound to undergo years of distress... some attempts, and some that may actually lower your IQ!

As I said before, I see that you have more potential and more fight in you than that. Don't look down on mental health care workers. For that matter, don't look down on people who are perceptive enough in this world to feel deeply about the entire situation and who are brave enough to look outward for help. In my experience, both as a professional and a consumer, those people are some of the creme of the crop. And if you still cannot bring yourself to talk about this stuff directly with professionals in that field, it has long been my happy experience that teachers and counselors have a lot of answers. Mostly you can find what you want tangentally... and in the long run come out of the deal not only with better understanding, but also with darn good letters of recommendation that any Ivy League college would be a fool not to consider. THEY WANT PEOPLE WHO ASK QUESTIONS, SEEK ANSWERS, and ACT PROACTIVELY!

I have to put my 2 cents worth in here for MrGupps. In my life I have started and run 4 businesses. I have had people apply for jobs and say (with pride) I graduated from Yale, or whatever their school happened to be. How impressed was I by this? NOT AT ALL! I wanted to know only one thing--Can you DO this job? Are you qualified, well dressed, well spoken? Then the collage (or even lack of) is not pertinent!
And cheer up! Life is a challenge, enjoy everything it has to offer, even if it's just listening to the birds sing on Sunday morning. Don't miss the beauty life holds. Laugh. Love. Take time to look around and YES, smell the roses! And remember, people have whispered to loved ones "I'm so glad you were in my life", but NO ONE has ever said "Gee, I sure wish I'd gone to Yale" on their deathbed!

I actually agree w/ you MrGupps who needs to pay a so called professional I think you'll be fine just speaking more to your mom and a few friends (save the money and go buy them sunflower seeds)

and yes do listen to Mouse up there cuz school is important yes but nothing worth losing your life over (that is just rediculous) you should be having some fun in school right now and trying to learn how to spell and stuff there that's about it, you'll learn more better things when you finish school and land outside in life (that's the real school)

I hope you're feeling better today???