Just what the title says, but I'm here today to clear up any misunderstandings, misconceptions and/or apprehensions, orright.

I suppose I should start at the beginning.... is as good a place as any, I guess.

Well I was born at an early age and already showing signs of being nuts at the age of 2 days. Yup, I'd throw major tantrums and stamp my feet like an asylum inmate if I was offered the bottle.  Now these weren't any ordinary tantrums, either. If offers of the bottle persisted, I'd deliberately fill my nappy [diaper to the colonials] and scream blue murder. until it was changed and I was offered something better.  now you can say this was like cutting off my nose to spite my face, but it was the real thing or nothing.

Now most people will say that all children throw tantrums... but at just 2 days?  And you know where Jack Nicholson got all those crazy looks for One Flew Over The cuckoo's Nest, dontcha. My baby photos, that's where.  I'd put some up here but I reckon management wouldn't appreciate me scaring folks like that.  So my parents figured I would grow out of it by the time I was weaned, but no, throughout my childhood I displayed lunatic tendencies and seemed to enjoy stints in the naughty corner, especially at primary school...that's the one after kindy, for those who don't know the British school system.  Yeah, I'd sit there pulling faces at the other kids... and soon their laughter soon meant I weren't in the naughty corner alone, which sorta defeats the purpose, don't it.

Anyway, not a lot has changed so I'll get right to the point.  There is no think about it.  I know I'm mad, I've always been mad - hmm, Pink Floyd in my head again - and I'll admit it. I'm totally nuts!  There, I said it, I'm nuts and constantly live on the lunatic fringe, just so you good people with hectic lives don't have to think about it anymore.

Okay, so now that's cleared up, can we get back to our normal lives?  Alice is having a garden party and I don't want to be late, otherwise the Mad Hatter eats all the good stuff and leaves the ice cream and cake.