Elfkura - I, too, don't get along with other children when I was young. I've always been left out by the sidelines, never picked on to join in any team for games, just kinda walk around like an invisible shadow where no one else but me knows I exist.
god, to see someone else put into words so effectively such an acurate description of my own childhood. it is kind of spookie.
and to think that most adults say that childhood is the happiest time of your like
Elfkura - hence that's why I never know the little common things anyone else knows, cause I've never made a move to learn them or pay attention.
yep, me to *sigh*
Elfkura - I dislike having people around me. The only people I can stand having around me for a couple of hours are my closest friends, and even there, I can't count more than five. Even when I am around them, I still have to leave to be by myself for a while.... I hate prying eyes, and I most definitely don't like people viewing a part of me that I don't want them to see......
you should be prowd of your self. you have made far more progress in the offline world of humans that i have.
if pushed, i am not sure that i could name even one person that i would name as a close friend. there is my mother, but that is different.
Elfkura - But those are friends. Best friend falls under yet another category to me, and so does boyfriend........
Elfkura - As meeting of minds, I hate talking to a person about personal goals, personal views without seeing them face to face. I've been raised that you only talk of simple and short things over the phone. Anything else, talk about it over a snack or a drink. It's my personality, it's me. I need to see a person and his reaction to my thoughts and my views. I especially hate having family members eavedropping over phone conversations. Over the phone just never cuts it...... and I don't know what to talk over the phone anyways. As for net, he doesn't come online, or only for a little while if he does.... what then? Just hop into serious chat?
i suppose this is partly a matter of different approaches and personalities here. my experience of talking to people on line is that if you talk to them enough, then you get to know their moods and views by their words.
i wouldnt suggest trying to jump right in to deep converstation. surely you have common interests that you can talk about on-line / on the phone? partly the idea is simply to keep in contact with each other.
since i never tended to socialize with people when i was growing up, mainly relying on talking to adults i have ended up with a different approach.
as a child converstations with adults would occur as and when they happened. since they could tend to be snached in quite minutes when the adult wasnt doing something "adult", i never made the connection between sitting down socually and talking to someone. so for me the on-line world just seems like a natural extension of this.
the thing you do miss in on-line converstation is all the body language and voice / tone information. the flip side of this though is to realise that most men dont know it is there to begin with
if you watch 2 women having a conversation they can say a vast amount without uttering a word. the amusing thing is when you have one or more men present. the men are normally totaly unaware that the women are talking, and even if they realise there is a converstaion going on they never seem to be able to follow or join in
Elfkura - I do own a teddy bear, but it's of no help. I'm spoiled. Once I find something I love dearly, a replacement or a substitute will -never- work to ease any feelings I have.
i think i understand. however, since i have never tended to have this *connection* i am not used to having to fill a specific void.
i am used to filling the usual vague "i am missing out on something" void. for that sort of general emptyness a teddybar can be quite cumforting.
Elfkura - I feel... pathetic.....since I know my boyfriend is a member of wincustomize too... he'll probably read this sometime...
please dont feel pathetic
you have reached out and made a connection with someone that means a *lot* to you. this is a brave and powerful achievement.
if it helps, as someone has already pointed out, there are people here who care about you.
