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mrs_starkers
mrs_starkers
Join Date 09/2006
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He's Gotta Do It....Everybody Else Does

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January 18, 2011 9:02:24 AM from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

A pet cat has been ordered to report for jury duty, despite being "unable to speak and understand English".

If the matter was not resolved, Sal the cat would have to report to Suffolk Superior Crown Court in Boston, United States, on March 23.

Owner Anna Esposito said she had told authorities that Sal could not speak or understand English. The cat's vet had even written a letter explaining that Sal was a "domestic short-haired neutered feline".

"Sal is a member of the family so I listed him on the last census form under pets, but there has clearly been a mix-up," Mrs Esposito said.

"When they ask him guilty or not guilty? What's he supposed to say - meow?"

Mrs Esposito said Sal was not suitable for jury duty because he could not understand English, one of the 10 statutory disqualifications preventing people from serving.

Her husband, Guy, said the summons for juror service was a surprise.

"I said, 'Sal, what's this?' I was shocked," Mr Esposito said.

"He likes to sit on my knee and watch crime shows with me but even so he's still under-qualified for jury duty if you ask me."

It is understood that Sal was inadvertently included on the juror list when paperwork was misread at the last census.

here

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mrs_starkers
Dr Guy
Join Date 09/2004
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Reply #1 January 18, 2011 9:06:39 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

That's ok - most humans in Boston do not speak or understand english either!

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mrs_starkers
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Reply #2 January 18, 2011 9:10:02 AM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

lol

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mrs_starkers
Uvah
Join Date 05/2006
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Reply #3 January 18, 2011 9:27:28 AM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

That's cause Boston is full of ALF's.

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mrs_starkers
Wintersong
Join Date 07/2006
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Reply #4 January 18, 2011 9:30:30 AM
from Elemental ForumsElemental Forums

Isn't the USA the country of opportunities? Started as a humble family cat and ended as President of the USA (or at least Governor).

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mrs_starkers
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Reply #5 January 18, 2011 9:35:27 AM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

That's cause Boston is full of ALF's

hahahahaha good 1 lol

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mrs_starkers
Jafo
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Reply #6 January 18, 2011 9:36:53 AM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

and the whole group W bench jumped up and shouted 'kill...kill...'

I looked at the judge...and then I looked at the seeing-eye dog...and then at the judge....and concluded it was yet another case of Blind Justice....

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mrs_starkers
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Reply #7 January 18, 2011 9:45:45 AM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

@ jafo

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mrs_starkers
DrJBHL
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Reply #8 January 18, 2011 11:57:53 AM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

i wuz takin to cortz!

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mrs_starkers
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Reply #9 January 18, 2011 1:22:08 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

@doc

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mrs_starkers
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Reply #10 January 18, 2011 1:37:26 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

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mrs_starkers
DaveRI
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Reply #11 January 18, 2011 3:46:22 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

Why cats make great jurors:

They happily accept all bribes, then do whatever the heck they want anyway.

They have an excellent ability to ignore all things not directly relevant to them.

When things get too ridiculous, they just get up and leave.

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mrs_starkers
starkers
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Reply #12 January 18, 2011 9:12:15 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

I wish there had been a few cats on the jury when I had to 'appear' for "public urination".

I mean, when yer gotta go.... yer gotta go.

Cats understand that!

So lots of people go behind a car for modesty and privacy reasons

Wasn't my fault [PM] lil Johnny's shoes got wet while he was getting out of it.

Cats woulda seen the funny side of that...

In fact, the jury foreman should've been a cat!

Instead of being fined $200, I'd be shining a meritorious conduct medal.

Why cats make great jurors:

They happily accept all bribes, then do whatever the heck they want anyway.

They have an excellent ability to ignore all things not directly relevant to them.

When things get too ridiculous, they just get up and leave.

Right on, Dave! 

You'd have your defense team bring crate loads of milk and fish to court each day.

Cats appreciate initiative.

I mean a cat isn't gonna convict you after that, is it... especially if what you did... um, are accused of didn't impact on him/her.

Besides, history could repeat if Tony Abbott ever becomes PM.

Yup, more cats for jurors.

 

 

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mrs_starkers
Uvah
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Reply #13 January 18, 2011 9:29:48 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

this guy might not have made it through the interview.

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mrs_starkers
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Reply #14 January 19, 2011 7:30:37 AM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

this guy might not have made it through the interview

I think so long as they can read body language I think that is all that matters

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mrs_starkers
starkers
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Reply #15 January 19, 2011 7:44:25 AM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

I think so long as they can read body language I think that is all that matters

Body language, eh?

Yeah, I remember the time you asked: "Why are you feeling me up"

I told you that I was reading your body language

You said: "That's a funny way of doing it!"

And I said: "Not if you're accustomed to reading by braille."

Boom, boom!!!

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mrs_starkers
Uvah
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Reply #16 January 19, 2011 8:46:27 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

 

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mrs_starkers
starkers
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Reply #17 January 20, 2011 10:18:06 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

Oh, and if anybody's wondering about the case with the cat juror, it has been held up indefinitely.

Apparently they've got a 'hung' jury.

While 6 jurors have voted guilty, the cat says "not guilty" and has persuaded 5 others to vote that way.

It seems they could be there a while.... the foreman sent out for tuna sandwiches and several quarts of milk.

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mrs_starkers
DaveRI
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Reply #18 January 21, 2011 2:41:18 AM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

Have no fear - the cat will...eventually...get his way. And look darned good doing it.

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mrs_starkers
mrs_starkers
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Reply #19 January 21, 2011 5:35:35 AM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

word has it that he  got away with it  and the cat is living the life of luxury

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mrs_starkers
Uvah
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Reply #20 January 21, 2011 7:26:20 AM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

Sure. What with all the catnip in his private stash.

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mrs_starkers
starkers
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Reply #21 January 21, 2011 8:36:04 AM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

Yup, I can see it now, this cat is gonna use its celebrity status to lobby the Bar Association and the League of Judges to have more cats serve as jurors.  

And it's not necessarily a bad thing, for cats to have greater representation in the courts system and the working of justice.  I mean, they're gonna have a nose for something fishy... and if the triad or the mafia send a warning with a dead rat, its just gonna think "meals on wheels" and just get on with it.

Nah, I say go for it.  In fact, why not a few British Bulldogs here and there as court security? 

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mrs_starkers
starkers
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Reply #22 February 7, 2011 10:41:12 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

The cat informs me that he would like to sit on the jury if the Julian Assange sex trial goes ahead in Sweden.

Apart from hearing all the smut and juicy details, he also want to meet a man who REALLY knows how to take a LEAK.

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sydneysiders
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Reply #23 February 7, 2011 10:55:40 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

what'd happen if he wasn't feline like it...  

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mrs_starkers
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Reply #24 February 7, 2011 10:58:27 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

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mrs_starkers
starkers
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Reply #25 February 7, 2011 11:11:44 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

what'd happen if he wasn't feline like it...

Then he's likely to be charged for loitering around the urinal without intent.

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