An inquiry: a load of what?   The reason I ask is that I recollect this time when an extremely attractive young woman in a micro mini skirt sat across from me on the bus and made several suggestive gestures that were... um... let's say... arousing.

Anyway, the 'load' would be more embarrassing, so I'd probably go with the booger, hoping that nobody noticed it before I cleaned it off.

A butt full of splinters from sliding down the banister... or one of those nasty 'male' accidents with a zipper?

hole in one on the seventh

A car with the biggest V8 or one with brakes?  (can't have both)

I'd rather not.

I'd go with the super powers.... cos then there'd be other cool stuff apart from flying.

In heaven with bread and water or in hell with a magnificent feast every day and wild debauchery every night?

In Summer... thin ice.  In Winter... hot water.

Be a eunuch in a bordello full of wanton women or suddenly discover your significant other half had the 'op' but is really the same sex as you??

Pacman... he's got a piddly mouth compared to a triiffid

And.... somebody ringing up several times while you're trying to sleep or a pesky alarm clock that doesn't know the time and goes off at various intervals (despite how many times you reset it to get up a 6.00am) during the night?

Disgustingly rich.... cos curried cabbage means I'm already richly disgusting.

Get your hand stuck in a stormwater drain trying to retrieve a dollar or lose a foot kicking a politician in the rear?

Is that on the package tour or an ad-hoc  affair where you come and go as you please?

Being the fish and saying 'later'.

Eating half an apple and finding half a worm wriggling in the remaining half or finding out that you've eaten the half worm when it wriggles back up and exits through your left nostril???

Think I'll go for the worm and thinking it's spaghetti.

Ten miles to walk and a sharp stone on your shoe, or a starving rodent in you underwear?

Run under by a stink bug munching on a fresh batch of 10 day old (now there's a contradiction in terms) curried cabbage.... cos it could never smell as bad as I would eating the same thing.

An appendectomy through your armpits or a tonsillectomy through your rectum?

You woos!   BTW... you don't actually have to go get these things done, you know?

OK, something less painful, perhaps:

Being locked in a 8' x 8' cell with a politician who never stops talking, even when he's asleep.... or being locked in a cell with a gorgeous hooker without a cent?