Indeed, LS and V. For me it seems to boil down to ego ("I can win.") and greed ("The one who dies with the most, wins.")....

The two scourges of mankind in all places and times....Though we know, we have not changed. Yet do I hope.

We are told that things are changing and will change giving us hope before we go to sleep. 

We wake up in the morning only to find out that the only thing that changed were the names of the people telling us things will change.

I always pose that same question to anyone trying tell me I need to or should believe in some God. Funny thing is though they can't accept the truth in answering that question. There is no God. Great story...very inspiring...but just a story.

Hypothetically speaking...if I were this god...all knowing...all seeing...all powerful...creator of the heavens and earth...there is no way I would tolerate such behavior from my so-called children...who I apparently created in my image. Where's my eraser? Why can't people just believe in themselves rather than some invisible being that has no effect at all on the outcome of their lives. And don't they put people that talk to invisible beings in rubber rooms?

As far as the kid in the video. Great song...but as with everything else...people will only go as far as appearing to care...since it seems it's much easier than actually caring. I mean...if people actually cared they would actually have to do something to prove it...and who has time for that! Whereas by just saying you care you can just walk away from the conversation having proved nothing but leaving someone believing you do.

The comment I despise the most is..."that's just the way things are"...as though that's acceptable...rather than changing things for the better. But the rub to that is someone will always come along and ask "who decides how things 'should' be". And then nothing ever gets changed. And I suspect these people always pose that question because they're afraid they might have to change as well...who knows. But people like that I would really love to just pop them in the head.

"I mean really...don't tell me how things should be! This is how things are and your never going to change that!"

Unfortunately things will never change. When you can't get 10 people to agree on 1 thing you'll never get a whole country to change anything. I guess they feel some strange comfort in just suffering with how things are rather than changing. And it's really troubling when there are some obvious things we can do to make the world a better place to live but no ones willing to actually do it...mostly due to greed and partly out of laziness.

And we put to much importance on trivial things and ignore the things we should be concerned about.

The only hope you have of changing the world is to be the change you wish to see in the world. Unfortunately it doesn't really work...but you at least feel better about yourself knowing that you at least actually try and don't accept that..."that's just the way things are."

I have been told...many times...by our pastor, by the elders, in Bible study...etc., 'It's all a mystery and we aren't supposed to know the reasoning behind it all.'

I really hate that statement, I don't buy it. When something doesn't fly with me, I tend to run with what I suppose is some mutant genetic disposition I have to then argue it. My pastor looked at me in total frustration at one Bible study and stopped the entire conversation by saying "If I am ever, God forbid, sitting in court fighting for my life, facing the death penalty" he points at me "I want you defending me. You have to be the most argumentative Yankee I have ever met."

I don't know if that's good or bad. It came after he threw the 'mystery' crap at me again and how there is a plan for everything and it's our job to trust in it. I threw a Bible passage at him.

"God is not the author of confusion" : 1 Corinthians 14:33

I then said it was hypocritical. That 'no answer, no explanation, other than 'God has a plan' was in fact confusion. God gave us free will and intelligence. We naturally 'want to know things'. We need to. It is what has brought us to where we are with medicine, healing, electricity, and so on. Also with weapons, and viruses, and people who think of sick twisted ways to hurt and kill one another. To me it's total confusion.

We argued this. It finally came down to someone questioning my faith. Then things got ugly. I looked at them and informed them that their faith was no better or worse than mine. I said "You question everything you do every day. You question whether it is in line with what you are taught. You question whether  you are truly leading a Christian life. And you pray to a God you cannot see for help, health, forgiveness, acceptance and everything else every day. But you never stop and pray that the chair you sit down in will support your fat ass, do you. You have more faith in that chair not cracking and falling apart under your weight than you do in yourself and your religion." I'm not saying I was rtight, or I made a point here. I'm just saying, I tended to be very direct. My weakness is that I often see things as being very black and white and don't care for people that want to walk the fence and play ignorant.

I don't belong to that church anymore. Not because of that, but because the pastor turned out to be a fraud and a crook. Honestly. I remember how dissapointed I was when I realized what a phony he was. How he stole from the church members. I remember when I first went to him, lost, and put all my trust in him and allowed him power over my some of the most intimate details of my life. How I devoted all..ALL my spare time to the church running Bible School, writing songs for the Praise Team, working with the kids and so much more. Only to find out this guy was using everyone and the church to further his ill gotten mass of material things and money.

This made me question everything even more. How does an all powerful God who supposedly loves us so much allow anything bad to happen? I look at my daughter and step-son and I know damn well if anyone ever did any kind of unspeakable act to them I would retaliate with such a force and anger I would probably make the news for weeks. And I am angered that I even have to worry about something like that ever happening to my family or anyone elses. How does an all forgiving God NOT forgive suicide, one of the most desperate acts a man could take? If I even allow that children must die..I cannot allow that is at the hands of a monster...or that they should endure unspeakable things, torture, and that it should be drug out for seconds, minutes, hours, or days, or years.

I'm not sure where I am going with this. Sorry. I have seen so much. Been through so much, to much, over and over. I don't know what I believe sometimes. I do know that when I die, if there is a heaven, if there really is a God, I will not be in his presence very long. I will be to pissed and have to many questions and if I am told the answers are not important and all of that is 'behind' me...things are gonna get ugly.