Banned for trying to deflate an escape from the asylum... and for thinking it's okay to go flying 'high' if you've got a parachute

Banned for seeking asylum. If you really want it though ask Snowden for some.

banned for going with the igloo joke

That's just cold.

banned for not heating up the chili

Banned for reminding of Mr. Freeze and Batman heating up the screen.  Those were the days. 

banned for being scared of the forest

Banned for deforestation in a world that's becoming devoid of trees because of logging... I say plant more trees everywhere and ban all logging of old forests and natural habitats.

Also banned for not wearing your glasses when going into the woods today.... then there'd been no lack of c-ing.

banned for driving home the point

banned for charging fees for the license like a typical capitalist  

Banned for capital gains.  

Banned for all country bumpkins are to exit left. Barring that exit right and take the umbrella with you.

Banned for shades of Mary Poppins.

Banned for not knowing witches don't wear knickers