Banned for befriending the scurrilous woman across the road... using inviting gestures to save you walking over to her place for a bit of crumpet.

Banned for not noticing that the tea was in T cups and the crumpet was in lacy D-cups... cos there's nothing wrong with an accidental [or otherwise] nip slip to boost levels when you're suffering low blood pressure.

Banned for putting the damned banana skin there... and I have photos of my bruised arse for the damages lawsuit

Banned for Banana 4011 bar-code.  when were you at cashier at the local grocer?   I have been.  And really liked it till Christmas came along and well you know, 25lbs of sugar, 30lbs potatoes, flat of pop, turkey, turkey, turkey, etc.etc.etc.   Long story short my back busted.   They were gonna put me in price tagging and such.. retirement pasture. I couldn't do that. What a nut I am. Union it was.  I quit anyway. 

Banned for I was at Safeway too.  Maybe we met.    No, I know... hehe   And yes, me too. Greener pastures. Forward always. 

banned for being a manager

banned for taping up the misdemeanors

Banned for I was night manager of a Boston Pizza in BC.   $120.00 a night in tips...    met Jethro Tull there.       Good times. 

Banned for not knowing a flute when you see one... a bit like the constipated mathematician, really, worked it out with his pencil.

banned for apple yappers

Banned for fruits were never my go to snack, now vegie & dip... especially broccoli and cauliflower, a few carrots.   Well now I've got to eat.  L8TR

Banned a plate half full....me, I prefer to eat some and leave it half empty.

banned for thinking that leaving a plate half eaten is good advice

Its better actually to only put the right amount of food so as to avoid temptation.