It sucks when:

* you lose your eyelids in a freak  accident and the doctor says he can fix it by circumcising you and transplanting the severed skin... you then spend the rest of your life cock-eyed.

* you're sitting in the waiting room at the ER and start to laugh when a guy comes in with a bucket stuck on his head... then he reminds you that you're the dweeb sitting there with his penis stuck in a vacuum cleaner pipe.

* I actually saw this once (a guy with his dick stuck in a pipe), started laughing uproariously and got asked to leave the ER

* you sometimes but temporarily lose control of your arms and legs so go to the doctor, who explains: "Ah yes!  Like me, you suffer from involuntary muscle spasms." ... then he spasms and whacks you alongside your ear.

* you go to the doctor complaining of a sore anus and the inability to sh!t, only to discover he forgot to remove the rectal thermometer at your previous visit.

* you present to the doctor with sickly headaches and he precsribes a medication, warning that it has side-effects.  When you inquire as to what they are he replies: "Migraines, throbbing of the fronatal lobes and nausea."

* you present to your doctor with a priapism and he says that he's not qualified to deal with it, so sends you around to his wife's bordello instead.

* the nurse tells you she has to take your temperature anally... and when you hear people laughing hysterically you look around to find the door open and a rose hanging out your ass.

Oh, don't say that cos it sucks when:

* everybody gathers around to watch and laugh when you screw up.

* your very loud alarm clock ensures you awaken to screw up.

* you have a papparazzi-type who follows you around with a camera to record all your screw-ups.

* you get on the bottom so you can 'screw' UP and your partner calls a taxi to go out.

* your last screw-up was so bad it got posted on YouTube and now millions are laughing AT you.

* you screw up on pupose to get out of doing a chore and it goes un-noticed.

* you screw up on purpose a second time (in the hope it gets attention this time and gets you out of it) but it  just makes the job twice as hard for yourself.

Yup, there'd be a few miners who reckon every day above ground is a good day.... and those fanatical nuclear war theorists, well they'd think every day below ground in a concrete shelter is a good day.

Now you're talking... I spend all day every day making an ass of myself.  In fact, I've been doing it so long now, I'm beginning to go hee-haw at the start of every asinine sentence.

It sucks when:

* you think you've made an ass of yourself... then see the photos that prove it,

* the guy at the fair thinks you're so successful at being an ass, he asks if you'll give the kids donkey rides.

* you're such an ass to your wife she sells you to a Mexican whose burro just died.

* your being an ass pisses off a gang banger that much he takes his sawn-off 12 gauge shotgun, blow a hole in you the size of Texas.... then calls you an ass- hole.

* there's one asshole you really don't wanna meet... but do.  YUK big time.

hmmm dont forget theres always the net too you know buster

It suxs big time when you are on holidays and your friend goes to the casino and wins $4000  and you have no intension in having a flutter yourself.

this, so I've been told, is suppose to be an indicator of a good time, not a sucky situation.

That depends on whether it's before or after the dirty deed... if after it means you didn't have time to take them off.  If before, then either the freshly painted wall isn't dry, or you have some serious explaining to do. 

Alternatively, you have a leak somewhere that either requires surgery or a cork.  If it's a cork in thr rear orifice, and you've been on the curried cabbage, said cork may become a projectile and blow your nut off.... which would suck.

It sucks when:

* you lose your wallet containing nude photos of your partner and they subsequently appear on the internet.

* you find a wallet and it's empty all but for an IOU

* you're a good citizen and you hand in a purse you found to police... then are subsequently placed in a line-up for a bag snatching.

* you find a banker's wallet but it is also empty.... cos bankers clean out wherever they find money.

* you're desperately lonely and get all excited when you feel someone touching your arse, but you're suddenly deflated as you realise it's just a damned pick-pocket.

* Friday you report your wallet stolen and cancel all your cedit cards, etc.... and .on Sunday you're cleaning out the car and find it under your seat

What really sucks is that if Uncle Sam were to monitor some of these threads he'd probably scratch his butt wondering what the hell is that all about. Actually it doesn't suck...it's par for the course...hehe.

It sucks when you wake up in the A.M. and realize another day has gone by and you somehow missed it. Been there done that. Don't ask me how I don't know.

It sucks when this reply window looks so strange. There's no border. No nothing except an smiley face up there on the left underneath font family font size. Go figure. And when you click on the smiley face they're spread out from one side of the screen to the other. Seen the green guy. Now the other one.

It sucks when:

1- You can't think of a single thing to add to this thread. Ain't that a bitch

It's too early...I'm not awake yet

It sucks when:

* You've had a few too many beers while watching the footy and yer missus says: "Don't forget to take the dog out to do its business before you lock up and come to bed.  So you stumble around 3 parts pissed to find the leash and hook it up to your daughter's toy dog on wheels to take outside for a piss.

* you wait outside all night to avoid incurring the missus wrath over a soiled carpet and the contrary thing won't piss or shit.

* while you're drunkenly waiting for this toy dog to piss and/or shit, randy Rover from next door comes over and humps it.

* next morning your daugher starts crying cos her toy dog on wheels is all sticky and your missus 'blames' YOU.

* your told to clean it off and the toy dog falls apart in the washing machine

don't worry kitty....it's just a lot of hot air....

It sucks when:

* Somebody confuses air with what is obviously GAS. 

* that gas is produced in bed and its only way out is up.

* you were alone at the time and had nobody to play 'dutch ovens' with