It sucks when:

* jungle drums delivers data faster than IE6.

* smoke signals deliver clearer images than IE6

* snail mail is 10 times faster than Outlook Express 5

* you use Hotmail to send email to your missus' puter just across the room and it arrives next month.

* Thunderbird fies away before you can check your emails.

* the hounds are loose and Firefox runs away before you can connect to WC.

     Introducing the brandspankingnew Acme Sux-o-matic. It sucks everything from pickled goop up to and including ten day old curried cabbage. It's sucks so much a vacuum gets jealous. It sucks so bad you wish you had a vacuum. It comes in three distinctive stylish hues of greenish hot aromatic slime...oozing corpuscular indigo with vomit highlights and last but not least......a soft ochre with chunky green chewables.

     List price is a cool $99.999 but in keeping with the spirit of half-lit partygoers who didn't eat before consuming copious amounts we've knocked the price down to an amazing $99.997. Don't let this onetimeonlyonceinalifetimedealyouwishwasabaddreamoratleastamilderhangover pass you on by. Operators are standing by...make that sitting as they all seem to......uuurrrp......'cuse me. Looking a little pekid.

                                                 ACME SUX-O-MATIC.....UPCHUCK YOURS TODAY.

SPAM FILTERS TEMPORARILY DISABLED DUE TO MUCK BE MIRED IN GOO

I left here to catch the first train to central station only to find out that the QR (Queensland Rail) are working on the lines, so I had to catch a bus from goodna to another 4 stops down the line, then get the train from there to the main station to catch the airport train to get to the air port . Anway, I got there and went to check in all to be told that the gate was closed, yet they were still checking people and baggage. The plane was due to fly out at 7.30 am i was there just prior to 7am, but by the time I got to the counter I was told the gate had closed and I had to go to see  the person at the service desk.  However, he was totally un helpfull and then had the hide to want to charge me an xtra 70 dollars to change my flight for tomorrow , but wanted payment straight away.  I didnt have the funds on me,  so ended up forfiting my ticket. Thing is, while at the service desk my name was called from the boarding gate to present myself for boarding...  so in other words, i could have boarded had they not held me up so long at the front counter

Problem is, the boarding gate is a 5 minute walk from where I was, and they wont let you in there once they have stopped reciving passengers at the front desk.  Even if there was someone higher who I could have spoken too, it was too late anyway as take off time by then had passed

It had to be Jetstar 

that's a pain Mrs S...

should have jumped in a cab when the rails let you down...

what a waste of time, effort and money 

Don't worry, I tried orright.... rang Jetstar but got nowhere due to it being Sunday.

That was the other part of the problem... the area that deals with this kind of thing is only open Monday to Friday 9.00am to 4.00pm.  So the person I got was a ticketing clerk who didn't give a shit: "Call back tomorrow when the ground staff are on duty.

Hmmm, fine way to run an airline!  NOT!!!!   A passenger has issues created by the check-in staff, and there's nobody available to sort it out because it's a weekend.  WTF, their effing planes fly all weekend, so staff should be on duty at ALL times to resolve passenger issues.... particularly if the lower echelon airline staff created them.

It sucks when:

* the airline fucks up and you can't reach down the phone to throttle the bastard on the other end who simply doesn't give a shit.

* the airline fucks up and tells you that your ticket is forefieted because you didn't make the flight they wouldn't allow you to board.

* the airline says that if you pay an extra $70 they'll put you on a flight you've already paid for, but at another time.

* you demand somebody rings you back during regular office hours to resolve 'their fuck up' and nobody does.

* you're not on one of their flights after a ginormous bowl of curried cabbage, so the airline has to refund all passengers fares due to the stench.

                                                        ..........................................................

The call back I was promised still hasn't arrived... if it hasn't in the next hour I'm going on a rampage like none they've seen before... and I shall call them to inform of my intentions.  The threat of adverse publicity (TV and print media coverage) may change their minds to satisfactorily rectify the situation, but if not.... it's all out WAR.

I'm normally a passive, non-aggressive person who believes in live and let live, but I'm severely pissed off (and that's the worst thing anyone can do, get me riled up) and those persons responsible for the debacle WILL suffer.  It cost us $50.00 to get Shaunna to the airport and back - and all for NOTHING - so my usually dormant mean streak has been awoken with a vengeance... and I will fight back with great ferocity.  BASTARDS!!!!!

After being given the run around by Jeststar minders who don't give a shit - even after I threatened media exposure of their cock up - I finally got hold of their customer relations manager after calling a reporter at Brisbane's leading newspaper.  The reporter gave me the guy's personal phone No and he is now looking into it.... getting Shaunna on another flight at no extra charge asap.   And so it should be - at no extra charge - it was their cock-up.

We should get a call back shortly, at which point I will be asking for heads to roll... this exercise has cost us beyond the cost of the flight, ($60.00 plus at the end of the day) and we don't have money to throw around on pointless ventures.

It sucks when:

* airline staff believe their job description does NOT include courtesy and customer service.

* you spend over 3 hours on the phone to get passed from one shit kicker to another without result.

* you don't have a high pitched whistle to blow down the phone to get their attention when it's obvious they're just not listening.

* you're infuriated that you eventually get passed back to the first shit kicker and the process starts all over again.

* you want to scream rude names and obscenities down the phone at him, but must refrain to save offending the little old ladies who just knocked on the door collecting for the Salvos.

* you have an enormous curried cabbage bark saved up but it doesn't translate too well (stench-wise) down the phone.

That's the problem in a nutshell. She's the only one wot keeps yer gyro screwed on right...and now you're gonna overdo and that just won't ... well, do.

Just a friend worrying coz 'e knows what the missus means for yer, mate. Get your boy to do the heavy stuff, ok?

I couldn't be happier those poor victims of cranial-rectal inversion  got things fixed up. Wish the missus a good flight, from me.

Really glad it worked out in your favor...joy all around! 

Although I started this thread for a bit of fun.... some tongue-in-cheek humour, sometimes when it sucks it just ain't funny.

It sucks when:

* mrs starkers $20.00 per month mobile phone plan is costing her up to $150.00 in charges when she hardly uses it to send

* that she would put $20.00 on her pre-paid phone, use it more and still have some credit left at the end of the month.

* that the telco wants to up her plan to $60.00 per month, supposedly to give her $80.00 worth of free calls/texts between 7.00pm and 8.00pm, but call/text charges for the remaining 23 hours remain at the same price... in other words, if calls/texts are necessary at any other times, 80 bucks worth of "free" stuff  between 7 and 8pm isn't gonna help bring down that bill.

* when you need a mobile phone, the telcos have you by the short and curlies no matter which plan you go with.

* when my Telco is also my ISP and charges for uploads as well as downloads, thus depleting my 25gigs p/m much faster.... other OZ ISP's don't include uploads as part of the monthly allowance.

* they lock you in on a 2 year contract and exit fees make it not worth your while to change to a 'download only' ISP.

* that MS monitoring/other software auto update mechanisms chew up a percentage of your monthly limit... and you can't opt out of some of it.

* and it sucks big time that I'm having a gripe, crying in my pretzels, and I ain't getting any comforting huggles or sympathy.