Clueless is the first step to wisdom, Grasshopper....

If you are Alternate Setting and not yet another diversion.

Ah, ha, so now we're getting to the bottom of it... the WC winky with Bill Gates' paintbrush... and we of course know that Stardock is a MS partner these days.  Hmmm, and naturally, we can't leave Zubaz out of the equation.  It is becoming more and more evident that Zubish is in actual fact a covert code which furthers the cause of the conspiracy. And to think, all this time we've been taking the mickey out of Zubaz and not giving credit where credit is due... that he's brainier than we first thought.  I mean, those zebras skin pants aren't exactly a dead give away, now are they.. so who'd have thunk it, that Zubaz actually has an IQ?

 

The caffeine in coke is not the addictive part,.......its actually that bloody  'dyanamic ribbon' that they so ferociously copyright...... (it has hypnotic powers)

 

ciggarettes dont give you cancer, they calm you, the powers that be just dont want a calm society (back in the 40's and 50's and probably further back, doctors promoted ciggies as stress relief).......i rest my case. 

 

because L.S.M.F.T  Lucky Strike means fine tobacco, so round so smooth, so firm and fully packed. Luckies taste better, cleaner, fresher, smoother.  If you want better taste from your cigarette, lucky strike is the brand to get, its toasted to

give you the best taste yet,.......its the toasted cigarette.

Ok, this is taken from the movie "Kalifornia" [Brad Pitt, David Duchovny]

 

"Folks needing breakfast is a myth - put out by the cereal people"

 

 

Ah, somebody else who has discovered the great Coke conspiracy!  Sure they want you to buy the product, but the 'hypnotic' ribbon was actually designed in such a way as to have consumers behave in an irrational and unconventional manner... especially if they mixed their Coke with alcohols such a rum, scotch and bourbon, etc.  The idea behind the irrational behaviour, it's reported, is to have large numbers of the populace so engrossed in acting like a pratt that they're oblivious to Coca Cola's plot to take over the World... especially when those consumers mixed alcohol with their Coke.

I am only able to report on this sinister conspiracy because I suspected the dynamic ribbon was impregnated with hypnotic suggestions and began wearing my rose coloured glasses to counteract the devastating effects, particularly when Coke and alcohol are mixed.  Fortunately, I was made patently aware of the 'acting like a pratt' syndrome induced by Coke mixed with alcohol - somebody showed me video footage of a drunken escapade in which I stripped stark bollock naked and and sat atop the flag pole of the local cop shop - and I so gave it up so as not to be oblivious to the sinister plot Coca Cola hatched to have consumers go ape shit while under the influence.

Of course, the alcohol producers are in on this, but that's another story.....

Now there's another conspiracy that really gets my goat - he prefers his cereal in the afternoons - that Kellogs and the like try to get us buying their product on a 'so-say' health kick.   And what really pissed me off was when the sales of corn flakes went down and Kellogs came up with this brilliant idea to have our kids nag like crazy for corn flakes by tossing a bit of suger over them, repackaging them in a box with a tiger pic on it, calling them Frosties and charging twice the price for the privelege. 

Bastards, like they hadn't already wrung enough money out of us from throwing a bit of cocoa over 'Rice Crispies' and calling them Coco Pops!  I mean, it's not like these damned cereals are that good for our kids... what with all the preservatives, artificial colourings and added sugar!  Like have you ever seen a hyper-active kid on Froot Loops?  It's very much like an athlete is when on steroids and speed, laced with Ecstacy and Viagra to envigorate the passion and stiffen the resolve to win.  Yup, hypo kids on Froot loops are unstoppable, and all those artificial colours have them so hyped up that they're hell bent on ripping the playground equipment out of schoolyard and wanting to take it home cos mum and dad can't afford it after spending huge wads of cash on breakfast cereals.

And, you know, it's these poor kids who grow up to be mesmerised by the dynamic ribbon and drink coke mixed with alcohol and end up sitting atop flagpoles stark bollock naked with a smoke hanging out their mouths.  I don't blame my parents for giving me Froot Loops (which ended up transcending to Coke, then alcohol mixed with coke, thus causing me to climb the cop shop flag pole stark bollock naked) but the chemists and marketing gurus who conspired to make these products irresistable to poor unsuspecting and innocent kids.  It's just NOT the parents faults... those "I want Froot Loops" tantums at the supermarket were only forgivable the once... after that parents bought the Froot Loops without a fight so's they could show their faces at the store again.  Kellogs know this, and that's why their marketing boffins keep coming out with 'new' and tastier cereals the kids must have... or else.

 

Why thank you!  I like conspiracy theories and making up a load of old bollocks for a giggle, so if can give a giggle to others from something I enjoy doing, it's a bonus and helps make my day.

I haven't eaten breakfast in almost 40 years anf it has done me no harm.  Even when I was working 12 -14 hours a day moving people, most often I would only have an evening meal and nothing else to eat all day, just plenty of water/drink.  Now that is hard work requiring a lot of enegy and strength, and I did it on just one meal per day without ill-effect.

Exactly!  That's why these days I get stuck into the cereal late afternoons... to avoid getting weighed down and feeling sluggish in the mornings. Like I don't need any help in getting off to a slow start these days, so I ravenously consume cereal in the afternoon so I have a slow start to my evenings instead.

However, no matter how tempting they look, all pretty colours in a brightly decorated and highly inviting package, I avoid Froot Loops like the plague... well these days I do.  Last time I ate them, I was with my mother in the supermarket and threw an almighty tantrum until she bought a couple of packs.  Poor mother, she had an awful time, embarrassingly trying to explain why her 54 y/o son was chucking a mental in the cereal aisle, on his back on the floor and throwing his arms and legs every which way but loose. 

Yup, Kellogs have a lot to answer for, not to mention explaining to do!  It's a known fact that artificial colouring and preservatives in food can cause hyperactive kids behavioural problems - those supermarket tantrums - yet they still put them in Froot Loops and other cereals... all in the name of profit and to drive up sales through parental embarrassment.

All I can say is that it's just as well GWB doesn't eat Froot Loops and drink Coke from the bottle (his minders pour it into glasses so he doesn't see the hypnotic dynamic ribbon and become mesmerised (not that anyone would really notice) by it), otherwise there'd be a cop shop somewhere in Washington missing the top of its flagpole.  Given that he's one muppet who's come in for special attention from the Puppetmaster, there's probably one or three cop shops in Washington that can be thankful they've not lost a lot more than just the tops.

 

LMAO!!!!

I did that to my grandmother when I was 5, I took my clothes off in the supermarket and ran around nekkid until she got me what I wanted.. then copped a hiding later on

hehe I'm actually really shy, seriously

 

Ok.. conspiracy theory.. I'm starting to think Doc [JBHL] is right.. I think my cat is plotting against me.. she keeps jumping on my keyboard and making posts under my name.. she posted that nekkid stuff the little bugger!

Nah, please, say it isn't so!!!!!! Yeah, sure! Like I haven't heard that one before...."My cat did it" Yup, if I had a dollar for every person who blamed the cat when in actual fact they had deliberately stared at the dynamic ribbon on the Coke bottle to get the ball rolling, then mixed their Coke with alcohol and got nekkid with a whole bunch of other people, I'd be filthy rich. In fact, it's so common these days, the occurrence is no longer called a phenomenon. Nope, it's considered a daily event of little significance and nothing to be concerned or embarrassed about.... and that's exactly what Coca Cola and the alcohol producers want us to think. Personally, I never needed hypnotic dynamic ribbons, Coke and alcohol to appreciate/get involved in a nekkid hug, but that's just me and again I digress... Look, you're among friends here, many of whom who have also been mesmerized by the dynamic ribbon and gotten nekkid after indulging in a few rum and Cokes, so there's no need to feel ashamed and blame the poor cat. Sure, some conspiracies are evil and insidious, like the big banks ripping off customers, but others (like those that involve getting nekkid and group hugs) are not such a bad thing, particularly in this day and age when things are becoming so impersonal because of busy work schedules and globalisation. It's a sad, sad thing that the Puppeteer has us so busy jumping through hoops and doing his bidding just to earn a living and make ends meet. It's an insidious conspiracy of the worst kind, so if there's a conspiracy that we should embrace, it's the one where we tear down all those impersonal barriers and get nekkid.

Crackers the clown is really  a T.Y.P secret agent (telstra yellow pages)

Steven Speilberg is an alien... (how typical of him to fuck with the plot of indiana jones and mix myan with aliens....*rolls eyes*...its proof enough for me.

lolol

 

Ohh Kitty, don't you just despise telstra   bastards sent cops to my house and all I did was threaten to blow up their main building   <---- Genuinly confused look.

 

 j/j  or.. am I

I've often wondered about him... why he goes around public phones replacing the white pages with its yellow counterpart.  And it's really annoying because you then have to ring the operator to get private numbers.  I mean, it wouldn't be so bad if all the operators were polite and helpful, but alas, not all of them are.  Like the other day, I had to call the operator to get a private house number and she abused me for not looking it up in the phone book. Hah, me being the smart arse, however, didn't refer to there being no phone book, instead got angry and said: "Look, lady, I can't effing read, and it's your job to give me the effing nimber I effing well want... and if you can't do that without abusing me because I can't read, then I'm effing well going to the anti-discrimination board to effing well report you."

That did the trick... I got the number I wanted and a very polite "now you have a very nice day and thank you for calling".  But yeah, there's definitely a Telstra conspiracy going on, and I think it has to do with the executive stress levels, with Telstra being cheapskates on getting them proper stress and anger management courses.  No, what they do is put stressed and angry executives on the switchboard to take operator inquiries until they've abused enough customers to get it out of their systems.

Yeah, it all makes sense now!  To ensure they get enough operator calls for these stressed out execs to burn off all that pent up aggression, they get Crackers the clown to go around removing the White Pages from public phone booths.  It's just not right, you call to get a number they've denied access to, and then have some stressed out exec read you the riot act for not using the phone book that isn't there.  So yeah, thanks for bringing this one up, Kitty.  Now I'm going to my equally useless member of parliament to complain under the Telecommunications Act about the whole shamozzle.