If anyone needed another piece of evidence that chimpanzees were very close to humans genetically, this little tidbit from China proves to be an interesting case. A formerly "nice" chimp named Feili, has become as Jonathan Katz might say, "one great big ball of bitch" because she's sexually frustrated. After all, she's a modern chimp with modern needs. It's That Chimp!

And after her amorous advances were blunted, well, she did the only thing she could do in a cage without a singles bar... she started chain smoking and spitting at visitors to the park. If only she had three female friends to hang around with, you know, a wholesome one, a married one and a slutty one... then she could commiserate her sexual frustration with her peers, be a bit catty and talk about what a small world the cage is. Of course, she'd still be a power smoker, and that would be ok, but at least she would stop spitting at the tourists. Then again, it is the Big Apple of cages, so being a bit rude to the people who aren't from around there is par for the course I guess.

Or maybe they should give her a typewriter, let her write a column about it. (after about a million tries, of course). And such a phenomenal story would probably become... I don't know... something they'd show on HBO. I'm sure everyone would want to see it. I'm sure they could even make a series about it. Of course, they'd need to put an expresso machine in the cage, but I think that would be a small price to pay for so much entertainment. But wait, its China... they don't have expresso machines, so scratch that. 

I guess she is just going to have to wait for her big chimp to come back again. And smoking will make waiting that much easier. Especially when a cigarette company gets a hold of this story and becomes her exclusive supplier in exchange for using her as a model in its ads. A smoking chimp? That's entertainment and marketing gold!