SMART ASS ANSWER #5
It was mealtime during a flight on Continental Airlines.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked
John, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.




SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure
gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the
ticket and he opened his
trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat,
she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."




SMART ASS ANSWER #3
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the
grocery store but she
couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any
bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."




SMART ASS ANSWER #2
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was
stopped for speeding rolled
down his window. "I've been waiting for you all
day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the
kid on his way without a ticket.





SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's
final exam. "Now class, I
won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal
injury, illness, or a death
in your immediate family, but that's it. No other
excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his
hand and asked, "What
would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering
from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and
snickering. When silence is
restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the
student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I
guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."