Well this is my first return to humor after a bit of a serious stint at serious articles... you can thank my girlfriend for this one....
I went to get a glass of water the other night because that pretty much what I drink these days... and no Im not on some fucking diet... if I was I would look like an etheopian... anyway as I was at the fridge getting my water my dad came out and walked over to the dog and said" you shit in my hallway and twice in my room, next time you will be wearing it"....
After that the dog pretty much got away with it... and my dad went back in his room.
I just dont get it... is the dog color blind or just that fucking stupid that he thinks since the carpet is green that its grass too... dont think its too far beyond the dog thats for sure. Well its strange to me that every carpet that he has shit on in this house some how looks either like grass or dirt... my momes room is a brownish color... why the fuck you want that color in a carpet I dont know why....
But nonetheless he takes it upon himself to shit wherever he want... normally its in the hallway leading to my bedroom... which is why I always turn on the hallway light JUST fucking in case he does it a little closer to my door than accepted by me.
He did shit in teh middle of the living room once... I was pretty fucking proud of him for that one... but I did as I normally do. I walked around it. Let me explain something before someone goes well why didnt you pick it up.
#1 Me and Shit Dont get along. I think its funny and it can have a billion jokes made about it that will most likely be funny... that DONT mean I wanna touch it.
#2 It aint my fucking dog... I dont take care of him I dont feed him I dont water him, I dont play with him and most the time he stays out my fucking way. If I had it up to me... I would have gotten rid of him the moment he started hitting his head on the coffee table. Once in and once out... which he started to do when he was little.
My parents didnt teach him shit... I did I taught him how to sit and lay down... of course all the commands were in German so... its not like they knew what to say. But I slowly trained him to understand English too.... and now hes just stupid.... and he eats cat food not dog food.... idiot.
Anyway... my parent bring him in like five minutes after I put him outside... cause he wants in... I put him out there because I want him to piss and shit his little heart out and not do it in the house... I guess they dont get that... that let him in and say its because he will get to hot. If he gets too fucking hot we will find some fucking shade damn it you people.... I realize hes fucking stupid but not that damn stupid... dont quote me on that either because one of these days that dog will die of a heat stroke because he will lay in the direct sun and not find shade even if it is only two feet away.
As I was saying... I think the dog thinks the green carpet is grass and thats why he shit on it. Okay this isnt funny but I am posting it any way... cause Im lame like that.
