blonde driving a VW beetle down the highway spots another blonde who’s broken down on the side of the road in her VW beetle. She stops to see if she can assist and they both stare mystified under the bonnet. “Seems my engine has been stolen” says the blonde....to which the other blonde replies.....”don’t worry, I have a spare one in the boot”.....!!!.....  

I havent got a blonde joke but I have plenty of blonde moments. The latest being in NZ on the snowfields asked to get ice for an injured friend, I asked where do I get the ice from. Just go outside and pick it up off the floor hhmmmmmmmm!! Take a look at some more of my blonde moments and send me yours through www.hadablondemoment.com
Crunchieblonde

Q. Do you know the true reason for all of these blonde jokes?
A. Brunettes and redheads think they look smart making them all up!

Q. What do you call a brunette between two blondes???
A. LUCKY! (She finally gets some attention!)

Q. What's black and blue and lying in a ditch?
A. A Redhead who has told one too many dumb blonde jokes.

Q. What does a redhead miss the most at a party?
A. The Invitation !
Q. Why are there so many blonde jokes?
A. Because the blondes are out partying, the brunettes and redheads have nothing better to do on Friday and Saturday nights.

Hahah, this thread has brightened up the day.   

Why Blones Don't Make Kool-aid



They can't figure out how to get the 2 Quarts of Water in that little Package Of Kool-aid.

Man Who Loved Baked Beans


Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Shortly after that they were married. A few months later, on his birthday and on the way home from work, his car broke down. Since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk home. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. It was, after all, his birthday. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had 3 extra large helpings of baked beans.

All the way home he putt-putted. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe. His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and away she went to answer the phone. While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and RRIIPPP !!! It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon winner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead.

With his blindfold still on, when he heard the phone farewells he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, "SURPRISE!!!"

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.

I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to

Assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax.

Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ....." he said with a deep sigh,



"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

Yes I sure do Jafo

For some reason I don't believe that Dr. Seuss would have used retard in a tongue twister, blonde, yes.   

FREE for the Blond in You





WWW Link

OK,not a joke but here is a video of a blonde beauty pageant contestant/robot talking absolute nonsense   ... My Brain Hurts

  

If you lift up her hair at the back there is a built in card reader,unfortunately someone seems to have wedged a slice of toast in it.