John O'Rielly hoisted his beer and said: "Here's to spending the rest of my life betwixt the loins of me darling wife. It won him the toast of the night at the pub and a free pint of Guinness.

He went home and proudly told his wife: "Mary I won the top prize for the best toast of the night"

She said: "That's nice, John, what was it?"

He Replied "Here's to spending the rest of my life sitting next to my wife in church."

She said: "Oh thats loverly John."

The next day Mary ran into one of Johns drinking partners from the pub, who leeringly said that John won first prize at the pub the night before."About you Mary!" he said.

She said "yes and I can't understand it ".


"He has only been there twice in the last four years, once he fell asleep and the other time I had to pull his ears to make him come."