Borrowed and paraphrased a bit from original found in printed copy of 'a men's magazine' 
An elderly couple were in church listening to the preacher ramble on with his sermon.
The female half of the couple leans over to the male half of the couple with an embarassed look on her face and whispers in his ear: "oh my lord, I just passed a silent smelly... what should I do?"
The male of the couple carefully leans over to the female and says "uh, first you should put new batteries in your hearing aid"
