Ah, cereal commercials...harmless? or conveying signs of mental distress and powerful addiction? I shall evaluate and theorize on several well know cereals...
Trix-Apparently like cocaine for children and rabbits...The "Kids" or "junkies" apparently hoard these fruit flavored treats from a white rabbit because they feel the sadistic need to watch it die from hunger and not give it any of this euphoric breakfast food...The Rabbit(apparently anorexic and severely addicted) tries desperately to just get a hit from the "kids" but is only discovered because of his lack of thought an one track mind...truly a sad case...
Lucky Charms-A leprechaun bent on making kids suffer by giving the a taste of his "lucky charms" (whatever they may be) and then running away and hiding his secret stash...I believe he is a drug dealer of sorts and gains customers by invoking infuriating frustration...The kids however manage to use their junkie powers and drive to satisfy their craving break down the drug dealing Irishman's fortress and indulge upon his "lucky charms"
Coco Puffs-A cereal actually encouraging and making children and one unfortunate bird totally insane by eating this chocolate LSD...for there are several hallucinations that appear after just one bit of this godforsaken cereal...Not too much more to say about this one...
Captain Crunch-A psychopathic midget that imitates a naval officer in order to crash through the floor on a boat to push his product...unfortunately turning real people into cartoons and doing millions of dollars in property damage...the kids are then whisked away on his cartoon boat to an unknown location where presumably horrible things happen to them...
Frosted Flakes-A tiger that obviously pushes a speed/steroid combonation...his cereal is described as "Grrrreat" because it apparently give you super human(tiger) powers that allow you to run, jump, lift, and do many extraordinary things...The children are sometimes engulfed in giant waves of milk...and surprisingly still live...
Honeycomb-This somehow retains an ability to turn normal kids into a furry, insane, unpredictable ball of madness...the alluring effect of this cereal is apparently dangerous and can cause children to become incredibly dangerous...this could be a form of lycanthropia(werewolf disease) Perhaps this is just too addicting to be allowed in a Grocery store...
Update: Well it seems I forgot Fruit Loops...so here we go...
Fruit Loops- Ah, Uncle Toucan...appears to be a creepy bird that could possibly be a pedophile and uses Fruit Loops to seduce his three young nephews...There could be an ecstacy/roofie mix that gives his nephews some kind of amnesia and a horrbile addiction on these...In addition to being a pedophile he may be homosexual, judging by the name of the cereal...Fruit...Loops...As you can see Fruit relates to a homosexual person and Loops to insane people...so you be the judge....a harmless fruit flavored cereal or a demented homosexual pedophile inducing drug...
Well, I've infered most of these conclusions based on the advertising...ah, marketing...I hope you enjoy my amateur psychoanalysis on these advertisements and your opinions and feedback is welcome....
This has been another article by,
~Zoo
