uh...
how many of those years are actual skinnin' experience

Maybe this explains why I feel so tired these days...

Wow Alpha - your as old as Jafo.

Yeah, but not as old as me....reckon it's only these dirty old bandages holdin' me together. Best I be heading back to my sarcophagus, this old age is making me wanna nap more often these days

BTW Alpha, was that you in the crucifixion crowd shouting out: "Release Brian!" ?

Apparently I am also listed as 2005 years old.

So now my profile says im 2005 years old and lists as my " most recent skins " ones ive never heard of before.

Think I'll just go try to find myself.

Sorry Sir Starkers, I think you mean "Welease Bwian!" You obviously don't have the latest Python Spellchecker!!!

Errrr, me thinks the original call was 'release Brian'.....only did the call become 'Welease Bwian' when the Roman Commander, Biggus Dickus was continually taunted by the mob for his speech impediment. After giving prior orders to Welease Woger, Welease Wodney Welease Woderick and etc, none of whom were awaiting crucifixion, a member of the mob called out "release Brian", and Biggus Dickus redponded: "Okay then. Welease Bwian.", when it was confirmed there was a Brian awaiting crucifixion

I should know, I was there...even put my Sunday best bandages on for the occasion, bein' it was a once in a lifetime thing.

And while I'm at it, there's another historical myth that needs putting right. Nero was not Fiddling while Rome burned.....well he was, but that particular instrument hadn't been invented at the time. What he was really doing was consorting with a number of ladies with laviscious reputations. I mean, can you honestly see someone THAT decadent playing a musical instrument while there were several naked ladies there for his amusement!

Oh, and Moses did part the Red Sea....but it wasn't entirely divine intervention, nor did he act alone. Prior to leaving, Moses got his motley tribe to consume copious quantities of Egyptian ale for the long, hot journey.....and it was actually the resulting flatulence. When Moses realised they couldn't get across, he told 'em all to turn around and go back....well you get the picture.

Gotta go....nursey's calling out to freshen up me bandages.

This old age must be contagious! I'm 2005 years old too!   

another historical myth that needs putting right

"...and it came to pass that Moses tied his ass to a tree and walked into town..."


[me older'n dirt]

"...and it came to pass that Moses tied his ass to a tree and walked into town..."

Aha, now I understand....why Moses had to wear those incontinence pads backwards, t'was a fair stretch into town (from where he tied his ass).

Did you know that Moses had an inferiority complex? It surrounded the fact that the Israelites didn't want to believe him when he said they COULD cross the desert safely back into Israel. Apparently he blamed the stigma on his mother, for leaving him in the Nile and associating him with the bullrushes.

was the prince of Egypt before he went against the Pharaoh?

Apparently so, yes, moses was an honorary prince of Egypt....but according to a couple of old mates of mine, it was a token title just to help keep the jewish slaves in line ....as in one of their own had the ear of the Pharaoh.

Thing is, it wasn't Moses going against Pharaoh that got him stripped of his title ...apparently Pharaoh's wife fell asleep on the Synagogue steps one night and awoke in the morning with a heavy D(J)ew on her. The enraged Pharaoh went ballistic and ordered the execution of all Hebrew/Jewish slaves who were heavier than himself ...that's when Moses decided they had better scarper off back to the Promised Land, being Pharaoh was rather of a pip squeak stature.

Now nursey, where's my early morning dose of embalming fluid...seems I'm stiffening up some? And while you're here, would you please loosen some of my bandages, seems they've gotten somewhat tighter since thinking about Pharaoh's lovely wife

Actually, having my age attributed as being 2005 is making me feel quite young again ....might even go out n' get myself some new bandages to celebrate this new-found feeling of youth. I stll need a quart o' embalming fluid ta keep the arthritis at bay, but this more youthful sensation has put a spring back in my step.

Was looking at some of my articles/posts and found an old love letter to Pharaoh's wife, but deleted it just in case anyone here could read heiroglyphics and complained about its suggestive content.