Well, around nine-ish my uncle arrived and then left. He was the main cook there. Well, I took a shower and my mom took a shower and then we left to go get my aunt, and to see my cousin and her little baby. We also had to go and pick up their dog. It was a Chocolate Labrador Retriever. The “Pet Mover” was little to say the least, who in their right mind would shove that big of a dog into that little of a box with ease is beyond me, we put that off till damn near last thing to do there and I don’t blame no one for doing that either. I finally got to see my cousin Blair for the first time in ages, yippy me. She looked pretty good for someone that just had a baby, and the baby was cute too. Anyway, it was almost monotony after that, and then we “gently” shoved the dog into the little box and left with them in tow.
We had to stop at the local store so I could pick me up some wine to drink because I was not going to go to a family function completely sober, it just ain’t happening. So before we get there, and the store is only about five minutes from the house, I had happily downed half a bottle of wine. We got out the truck and I went inside to find my little cousin Jonathan watching baseball. Thank god I wasn’t watching nothing when I left and planned on continuing watching it when I returned right… cough, cough, BULLSHIT!
Anyway, the monotony then turned into that silent monotony where you would rather stab a flathead screwdriver in your foot kinda monotony. Finally my uncle suggest that after we eat we go to a place called Sandy Creek. Sandy Creek is called Sandy Creek because its sandy and well, it’s a fucking creek. Anyway, we decided to walk along all the sand bars and make our way down the creek as far as we can. And we made it a good two miles down it, wading through water from one bar to the next and swimming if we had too. Well it was about to get pretty bad weather so we decided to head back. I’m a heavy smoker so this little romp was more than I could handle I think, anyway we get back to where we were, after at least thirty minutes of solid walking in water and all that good shit. Anyway we then go back up the incline that we had come down but at a different place only to find someone had been there before and we hadn’t noticed it before but that had take a shit and wiped their ass with actual toilet paper.
Someone remind me the next time I need to take a dump and I have real toilet paper with me to bring the shitter with me as well. Anyway, we headed back to the house and Sandy Creek is what I would call out in the fucking middle of literally NOWHERE! So we all pile into the back of the truck, well we are all wet and its not that hot out so they all sit on coolers and the likes, well me being the person that I am, I crawl up on the welded down tool box on the back of the truck and lay down, they sure were cold but I wasn’t. I wonder why.
So we finally get back to the house and shit and eat again, and I go and pass out on the couch. The high-light of my entire trip came around eight o’ clock that night when my girlfriend called me.
After that it started to storm and there were a lot of tornado warnings and all that good shit I was told I slept through them, fuck it a tornado wants to come, sure let it, fuck let it tear up the town but just don’t disturb me while I am asleep for fucks sake. Anyway, my cousins left and my aunt left and all that good shit, and I slept through the night, I was one worn out mother fucker to say the least.
When I got up in the morning it was time for us to head back home. It was also cold as all hell. I brought all short sleeve shirts and shorts down. Well, I was freezing my ass off when I got in the truck, hey did I forget to mention that the truck doesn’t have a working heater… ain’t that some fucking shit. Maybe it was retribution for wanting to throw my little cousin out a moving vehicle, maybe not we will never know. Anyway we put on some borrowed cloths from my grandma and grandpa and headed out. And then the bitching commenced!
I’m sorry but those roads are just to straight and much to long for constant nagging all the way. Anyway, to cut this short we finally made it after a slight detour and driving in a circle twice. Thanks MOM! So that was my Easter vacation, the first in two and a half years and the last.

Adios