I be reckonin Doc dun fergot to menchun to ye Capt'n that while 'e was in port he picked hisself up sum of that thar Viagar stuff

Aaaarrrgghhh....so that be why he n' an assortmint o' wenches bin m-i-a on deck lately!!! Tha scoundrel bin 'idin' down in e's cabin consortin' wiv tha luvverlies n' practisin' he's 'orizontal tango. Orright, that be tha polite way o' puttin' it, but ye knows wot I mean....he have unleashed tha pyjama python n' be tryin' ta teach them thar lassies tha subtle moves of erotic dancin'.

Remembers bein' in a club when one o' them thar erotic dancers comes up to I n' puts 'er snake on me lap Dunno who whar more scared, me (probably) or tha snake, but tha next fing I knows I were covered in shite.....'owever, I'll be sure ta take me a change o' clean pantaloons n' undergarments fer if n' when I e'er gits back thar.

Oh, n' by tha way, when her act were over, she tried ta take tha wrong python wiv 'er backstage.

"Ere, Fuzzy, now ye sees that thar poor moggie above....he whar a cat o' nine 'til yer unfettered sehlat ran amok n' turned 'im inta a cat o' seven. That be why ye cain't 'ave yer sehlat unleashed aboard ship....an' I'd hate ta think what'd become of tha poor wenches if he whar ta stumble upon Mate Guy's stash o' Viagara.

Thar be a Royal tale to tell if'n thar ever wuz one to be sher

It be fer sher....trouble were, I were stuck fast ta me seat....er, um, well let's put it this way, bein' afeared o' tha snake weren't tha only reason.

And ta fink, I shoulda knowed ta 'ave 'ad a bowl o' light grub instead o' that thar curried cabbage afore I went.

Capt'n it be no fault of your'n tha ye be a man of accshun, it be braun that catapults a man of ye stature ta tha position of.....

more trouble than I can 'andle at times....an' it prob'ly be tha mischievous brane pow'r I 'aves that gits me inta it.

As fer me stature....I'd rather 'ave 46" on me chest than me belly...thar be parts o' me anatomy I ain't see'd in years an' it be a bugger tryin' ta tie me shoe lace. Juss as well tha ol' cobblers ain't dun made a shoe fer me peg leg....otherwise I'd be thar all day juss gittin' me footwhare sorted.



Life's too Serious to be Taken Seriously

unless they be a wench lawyer, then thar'd be another point they'd git ta understand n' thar'd be no bloodshed .....

Be not that agin the rules of decency and humanity? A wench lawyer? None worse can e'en be magined!

Thar should be a lore agin it!

It agin nature! Abomination I name thee! More ferocious than a wolverine, more deadly than anthrax! And no 'eart ta boot!

but a feller shoulda bin quick enuff t'ave stoled them thar lawyer wenches shoes n' kept 'em in tha puddin' club...

Ye kenna pin that'on me! I be not guilty! Pure as the white sheets o'er the sails!

Pure as the white sheets o'er the sails!

So 'ow pure be ye really, Mate Guy?

Capt'n ye both 'ave been a little to tight with ta rum to be sayin' sich as this 'ere dribble...I be expectin' Peck to swoop down an bite ye both back to reality sher as the wind lift the sails

sher as the wind lift the sails

Ye can be guaranteed o' it....tha cook gave I a double helpin' o' curried cabbage las' nite.

But me thinks I'll abstain frum tha rum....makes me fart wurse than a brewers 'orse ....n' us don't wanna be 'avin ta be pullin' inta port ta replace blowed away sails.

Capt'n, from the looks of it we be have some mates missin' an a skiff to boot

Orright, curried cabbage is off the menu....tis safe ta come back aboard now, really!

I found the Doc's stash and hav' been partakin' of it Capt'n