Our dogs have doggy breath from time to time.  I don't mind it, but Dave complains and occasionally retches when Grace gets up in his face and breathes on him.

So I, being the good wife that I am, decided that I'd look for some doggy breath biscuits the next time I had cause to go to the store.

I found some in Wal-Mart that I thought would be pretty good - Pedigree brand ones with eucalyptus and parsley and even a little charcoal in there for good measure.  I brought them proudly home to show Dave, and we broke open the package and dished them out to the dogs.

Grace eats them up, but Henry won't eat them.  Then again, Grace eats anything and Henry eats cat shit, so it's no great surprise.  Anyway, they work on the breath - Grace hasn't got minty fresh breath, but her breath is a damn sight better than it was.  We patted ourselves on the back and congratulated each other on a problem well solved.

Until the other morning.  The biscuits take care of breath, yeah.....but they have an unfortunate side effect.

Gas.  Horrible, nasty, stinky gas.  Dog farts don't ever smell nice, I know, but these are something else.  They are truly awful.  Gawd awful, in fact...no, they're worse than gawd awful, but I don't know what the next level of awfulness is called so.  They make me gag.  ME.  I don't gag easily....in fact, I was the one who got tasked with cleaning Henry up afte he'd rolled in liquifying mole because everyone else was gagging too hard to do it.  I did it without retching once, but these farts.....they make me gag.  I smell them, gag, get up, gag, walk away, gag again.  They are truly the worst smell I've ever smelt.  Because the biscuits have charcoal in them, there's a slightly burnt odor to them - it reminds me of bags of flaming doggy doo after the recipients have stomped them out. They're 'sticky' farts too; the kind that adhere to fabric and carpeting  (and their owner's rear end) and hang in the air for a long time after their original emission.  Truly, truly, TRULY gross.

Grace has slept in her kennel for the past 2 nights because we simply cannot tolerate her sleeping on the bed.  I haven't fed her any more biscuits since yesterday afternoon, so hopefully these noxious emissions will taper off soon.  It kind of sucks that it's so hot outside, or else I'd have all the windows open all day so that I could air the house out.  As it is, I'm just opening the windows at at night when it's cooled off.

I'm never, ever feeding our boxer a Pedigree breath biscuit again.  Ever. 

I'd rather deal with the bad doggy breath.