starkers

Join Date 05/2004

+1153

One Liners I can relate to

am I alone here?

Who needs enemies when old friends send emails like this......and the laughter causes yer dentures to fall out

Nah, not really.....for all the laughs at the right time, these people are true treasures.

Ain't It The Truth..
1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said Implants?" She hit me.
4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."
6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
8. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
9. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's.
10. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
11. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"-

12. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

13. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
14. Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
15. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
16. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
17. Wouldn't you know it.Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

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teddybearcholla

Join Date 12/2002

+803

No. 14, now there is some sound advice!!!

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Jafo

Join Date 03/2001

+1845

Great quote from a 'great' Aussie lad - Ned Kelly ....his last words afore execution....

"Such is life".

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BoXXi

Join Date 03/2001

+393

"Never test the depth of the water with both feet"

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starkers

Join Date 05/2004

+1153

"Such is life".

7 fits there quite well....wanted neither a screamer or moaner, but got the sweater anyway, which as you'd know is not a useful item around Chrissy in OZ....and had I wanted a screamer/moaner, woulda got a whinger instead, cos it was too damned hot to try on the sweater

Such is life alright...

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